THOSE WHO SEE "COMPLETE AND FINAL REGULATORY RELIEF" AS THE ONLY WAY TO SAVE FREE-MARKET CAPITALISM WITH AMERICAN CHARACTERISTICS--and, in the process, "open the magic doors of the free market, freedom of choice, freedom to choose," yadda yadda yadda, in the Lower Classes, may want to think twice after reading the following "WaiWai" report from the Mainichi Daily News out of Tokyo as may be of interest to that ilk (notwithstanding the inherent lack of credibility common to "WaiWai" items):

Residents of Osaka's Nishi-ku are raising a stink over what they say is a shifty plan aimed at setting up a love hotel right next door to an elementary school in the ward, Weekly Playboy (2/18) says.

Over 4,000 people have already signed a petition opposing the construction of the hotel, which claims to be respectable lodgings for business people and is due to open later this month, adjacent to the Honden Municipal Elementary School.

"Kids walk past this hotel on their way to school every day," Honden's vice principal tells Weekly Playboy. "If it really is a love hotel, it's not very good around here--this is a learning environment!"

Though the establishment prominently displays a sign labelling it a "business hotel," critics say it's merely a disguise. Osaka Municipal Assembly councilor Tadashi Shimizu is outraged.

"Business hotels are normally for single travelers, yet every one of the 20 rooms in this establishment is a twin room. I guess once they open for business, they're just going to push all the beds together and make the rooms doubles," Shimizu tells Weekly Playboy. "We've confirmed other love hotels of identical construction right here in Osaka. I guess this new place is part of the chain."

It's becoming something of a trend across Japan for love hotel operators to initially register their establishments as normal accommodation until they open, to take advantage of the less stringent requirements for regular hotels, then become love nests once operations are underway.

Under the Business Affecting Public Morals Regulation Law, love hotels are defined by the limitations placed on them for such things as lobbies and dining areas, as well as by the number of rotating beds and bathrooms with mirrored walls that they contain. The same law also bans them from setting up within close proximity to schools, allowing minors to use the premises and advertising in areas where the underage hang out.

But love hotel operators are apparently a sneaky lot.

"Love hotel owners exploit loopholes in the law. They build hotels without any rotating beds or mirrors and get a license to run them as a normal hotel. But once they've received permission to operate, they start offering them as love hotels for amorous couples," a writer on the adult entertainment business tells Weekly Playboy.

There's not much law-abiding citizens can do to combat underhanded shag shack owners from circumventing the rules.

"About the only way we can fight this is if Osaka comes up with specification ordinances of its own," local politician Shimizu says. "We could set a minimum number of single rooms for a place to be classified as a business hotel, or outlaw hotels from having displays of room interiors in their lobbies. Whatever way, we should strongly regulate them."

Others point to the changing accommodation market and feel they may be fighting a losing battle.

"Now, even posh hotels are offering daytime rates and renting rooms out by the hour instead of the night. I guess most people taking up these offers are only doing it for a place to have sex," the adult entertainment business writer tells Weekly Playboy. "The difference between love hotels and regular hotels has been strongly blurred. It's impossible to try and keep them under control."

Now what do you have to say, ye who support "regulatory relief" as the only way towards "pure" capitalism?