YOUR CORRESPONDENT ISN'T EXACTLY SURE HOW DEEP THE FROST STILL IS IN THE GROUND in and around the Minnwissippi where he resideth ... but as he prepares this, it's rather rainy to the most intense. And rainy enough to help accelerate the melting of the last piles of snow as are still around in parking lots from the winter's plowing operations.

(In support of the fact that there may be still be some frost in ground, I see a few instances of ponding rainwater on grassy surfaces, thus precluding the ground's taking up the rainwater and allowing such to percolate through the topsoil. That, and the usual highway weight restrictions for the time of year.

(Meanwhile, some slushy snow could be possible towards evening and the overnight up this way, sure to be molten quickly as the week progresses--and then some--with the onset of milder temperatures as herald April's arrival. Let's just hope some calm and clement days may be forthcoming to allow farmers and planters to get the spring fieldwork done without serious interference.)

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WITH HYPERCONSERVATIVE MOUTHPIECE AND "HERO" OLIVER NORTH OF IRAN-CONTRA INFAMY AN OCCASIONAL SHILL ON FOX PROLEFEED, Your Correspondent got to thinking the other day about whether this sorry excuse for a sunshine soldier may have been the bad seed of Peggy and Jerry North (as in the radio comedic mystery series Mr. and Mrs. North, which readers of a certain age are certain to recall, and then some.

(But then again, Mr. and Mrs. North originated in the pages of The New Yorker magazine back in 1936 or thereabouts, making the transition to radio between 1942 and 1957. The couple, in any case, were the kind to be "caught in the wrong place @ the wrong time" long enough to play detective and crimestopper.)

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IF LONGTIME ZIMBABWEAN PRESIDENT ROBERT MUGABE HASN'T ALREADY SUFFERED A HEART ATTACK, expect him to within measurable distance.

I say this in light of early election returns from Zimbabwe suggesting that Mugabe's ZANU-PF party is losing seats in the Parliament to the opposition Movement for Democratic Change (MDC), with the returns to the moment being about even between the two.

Offically, of course: Critics are suggesting that the slow pace of reporting election returns (as in announcing such on a precinct-by-precinct basis) is really nothing but a back-door ruse by which the ZANU-PF party can maintain power through trick, fraud and deceit--means which the GOP would certainly love to use come November, having studied such vote-rigging techniques thoroughly and comprehensively, howbeit incognito lest suspicions be attracted in certain circles of the Harare government.

Tricks and techniques which ought be challenged @ every opportunity lest democracy be compromised by elements weird and unwholesome as claim to be defending democracy, yet are really serving its perversion in the same brand of Maschienpolitik as was epitomised by the likes of Boss Tweed ... Ed Crump ... Richard Daley peré ... Tom Penderganst ... James Patrick Curley ... Frank Hague ... Huey "Kingfish" Long ... Jimmy Walker ... not to mention the O'Connor System which made the Twin Cities outright "safe harbour" for the nation's most notorious criminals of the early 1930's so long as they toed the line and avoided attracting attention.

"Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely," as Lord Acton reminds us from history.

Which can be well reinforced by George Santayana's reminder of "those who do not reminder the past are condemned to repeat it."

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"For your conveinence, we recommend courteous, efficent self-service."

THUS PROCLAIMS A SIGN IN A HONG KONG SUPERMARKET from one of those collections of minced English as are widely circulated online and otherwise.

Which has Your Correspondent thinking about something he read somewhere about Japanese "love hotels" offering self-service check-in @ the reception desk, allowing intending guests (usually couples wanting a quickie) to choose the room they want, select same, and pay for it with a credit or debit card.

And if Japanese "love hotels" can offer self-service check-in and check-out, then what would prevent smaller motels and resorts from offering DIY check-in, saving considerable time and helping deal with shortages of adequate staff to handle check-in details under normal circumstances?

No doubt sure to be welcome in "shoobie trap" resorts where staffing @ reception can sometimes be a problem, especially so in the smaller motels wanting something cost-efficent, yet affording them plenty of opportunity to take care of More Pressing Issues.

Provided such was affordable, cost-efficent and yet more than pay for itself within measurable distance.

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YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED IN YOUR "JUNK MAIL" OR "SPAM" E-MAIL FOLDERS OF LATE from time to time rather glowing-sounding e-mails claiming one could earn as much as $225/diem by simply processing rebate requests from home for and on behalf of leading companies, linking to websites featuring rather glowing-sounding "testimonials" as are probably fabricated or otherwise structured to discourage independent review of the claims.

You may want to reconsider such a notion, particularly when you hear that the Better Business Bureau out of Colton, California (serving the Los Angeles Basin) doesn't consider Penbrook Productions, the company behind this "work-from-home" scheme, too highly.

For starters, they insist on a $197 fee for what turns out being an "informational report" urging you to essentially perpetuate the scam on the Information Stuporbahn; as the BBB's report on Penbrook Productions explains:

On-line users need to be careful when browsing the Internet and responding to unsolicited offers. If an ad seems too good to be true, it probably is. Talented individuals can use a Web Page to create a company that looks very legitimate, but just because an ad looks legitimate on the computer screen, is no reason to assume it is.

Many questionable work-at-home offers are perpetuated through classified advertising. No matter where you find classified ads online, you are likely to find some false and misleading claims. For example, some classified ads promote quick and easy get rich ventures, traditional pyramid schemes, or the basic chain letter scenario. Traditional work-at-home systems, such as making handicrafts or stuffing envelopes, have been replaced by offers to use your home PC to make money fast in your spare time. Con artists who previously touted scams through newspapers, U.S. mail and telemarketing are using computers to reach potential victims. They can sit at their keyboard and reach hundreds of thousands of people, pretty much for free, in a short period of time. Getting a phony ad or message out is now cheap and easy. To evaluate tempting, on-line solicitations which offer a chance to earn money by working at home, follow the same signals that tip you off to potential frauds in print and other media.

Watch out for warning signs to questionable online advertising, such as overstated claims of product effectiveness; use of hype titles; exaggerated claims of earnings, profits or part-time earnings; or claims of "inside" information. Also, be leery of offers which require money for instructions or merchandise before telling you how the plan operates, or if they tell you that no experience is necessary. Anyone victimised by work-at-home offers over the Internet can file a complaint online or off-line with their Better Business Bureau. Customers who remain silent only allow others to be swindled by these fraudulent operators.

And of especial importance here is the likelihood of such scams seeking to exploit (howbeit subtly) the real or imminent likelihood of serious socioeconomic dislocation, mass unemployment and limited job openings for especially such with limited or no realistic job skills, but badly need extra income or otherwise "make wise use of their hands and time."

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NOT A VERY GOOD DAY FOR THE CONSPIRACIST ELEMENT, AND ESPECIALLY SO MUHAMMAD AL-FAYED, owner of the London department store Harrods:

The Coroners' Inquest in London enquiring into the tragic circumstances behind the 1997 death of Diana, Princess of Wales has rejected claims from Mr. al-Fayed that HRH The Duke of Edinburgh and MI6 set up the tragic chain of events for political or other reasons; in the words of Lord Baker, as quoted by the BBC:

They are not being pursued because there is not a shred of evidence to support them.

Foremost among them is the proposition that Diana was assassinated by the secret intelligence service (MI6) on the orders of the Duke of Edinburgh.

There is no evidence that the Duke of Edinburgh ordered Diana's execution, and there is no evidence that the secret intelligence service or any other Government agency organised it.

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There are no doubt those who genuinely believe this to be the case and will continue to do so regardless of any verdict you return.

You have heard the evidence and it is your decision that matters and not anyone else's.

You will have been reassured to have heard that Mohamed Al Fayed told you on oath that he will accept your verdict; no doubt the other interested persons will do likewise.

But then again, the same coroners' jury may have unwittingly been taken in by weird and unwholesome elements offering incredible testimony; again, citing the BBC:

Lord Baker said it was regrettable that there had been some witnesses "who it appears have told lies in the witness box or elsewhere", naming former butler Paul Burrell as one of those who were "liars by their own admission".

Mr Burrell appeared at the inquest for three days in January, but in a video recording obtained by the Sun newspaper he apparently claimed he introduced "red herrings" during his evidence and held back facts.

He then refused to re-appear at the inquest to explain discrepancies between his evidence and comments reported in the newspaper.

At the time, the coroner said he could not compel him to give evidence because Mr Burrell lives outside the court's jurisdiction in the US.

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CRITICS OF THE FEDERAL RESERVE SYSTEM WHO EXCUSE SUCH ATTACKS ON "PATRIOTIC" GROUNDS TO COVER ANTI-SEMITIC INTENTIONS are probably going to turn ballisto with Treasury Secretary Paulson's announcement that the Federal Reserve will be given greater powers of regulatory oversight over banking, insurance, equities markets, consumer loan and finance companies, etc., in the biggest single major regulatory overhaul since the New Deal.

Which such specimens of hatemongering will likely see as nothing less than subtle nationalisation, yet lacking credible evidence all the more.