HOW TO BREATHE NEW LIFE INTO A '70'S ICON OF SORTS: For a few years around the time of the Watergate scandals (1972-75), a number of radio stations around the country used a jingle package whose tag line went "Have a Happy Day!", reinforced by a cute and sappy jingle whose full-length version can be heard right here.

Especially so the kind whose format was "middle-of-the-road," encompassing a mix of light popular hits, country and soft rock to appeal to as broad an audience as possible. Which, in this day and age of the Croftweiler Industrial Cartel's domination of radio, seems rather hard to find on the dial.

(I recall, for one, that WKTY, "Katy 580" down in LaCrosse, used the "Have a Happy Day!" package as a promotional campaign. If you recall stations down in your patch of the woods likewise using "Have a Happy Day!" in the early '70's, please leave your memories in the comments section following.)

Anyway:

Some while back, Your Correspondent imagined that very light and relaxing jingle epitomising "Have a Happy Day!" as an interesting "bumper" that could lead into classic specimens of old-time radio comedy such as:

• Fibber McGee and Molly (of course)
• The Great Gildersleeves
• Vic and Sade
• Al Pierce and His Gang
• The Bickersons (including such which appeared as a segment on Dreme Time, which introduced the routine) 
• Our Miss Brooks
• Lum & Abner
• The Aldrich Family
• Father Knows Best
• My Friend Irma
• Duffy's Tavern 
• Archie Andrews
• My Favorite Husband
• You Bet Your Life 
• Life With Luigi
• The Life of Riley
• A Date With Judy
• The Couple Next Door

--as well as the self-titled shows of Jack Benny, Fred Allen, Jimmy Durante, Bob Hope, Red Skelton, Phil Harris and Alice Faye, Eddie Cantor, Abbott and Costello, George Burns and Gracie Allen, Mel Blanc, Edgar Bergen and Charlie McCarthy ... and, for variety, the occasional Hollywood comedy as was adapted for Lux Radio Theatre or Screen Directors' Playhouse.

Even better yet, the likes of detective mysteries from old-time radio where wisecracks figured into the storyline like Mr. and Mrs. North; Pat Novak for Hire; Jeff Regan, Investigator and Richard Diamond, Private Detective.

No doubt sure to make old-time radio listening more interesting, no?

=============

Which brings to mind this bit of Burma-Shave signage from around 1948:

'TWOULD BE
MORE FUN
TO GO BY AIR
IF WE COULD PUT
THESE SIGNS UP THERE
BURMA-SHAVE

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THE MOTTO EXPLAINED: You may have noticed where, near the top of the page, just above the name of this weblog (the title header, as it were), I use the motto HONI SOIT QUI MAL Y PENSE as part of the whole.

In case you're wondering, that expression is the motto of the Order of the Garter in Great Britain, established in 1348; translated from the Norman French, it means "Shame on him who thinks evil of it."

Now you know.

ST. MORITZ, THE DIVA OF SWISS ALPINE RESORTS REGARDLESS OF THE TIME OF YEAR (and whose name is actually registered as a trademark to protect the good name and repute thereof), may be well known over the winter months for its winter sports programme.

As in downhill and alpine skiing, snowboarding, sleighing, bobsledding, lugeing and tobogganing.

But it just so happens that they have a few not-so-conventional winter sporting events coming up as are of interest among the Robin Leach crowd more so than the "weird news" such: Coming up next weekend in the champagne climate of the Engadine is the 20th "Cricket on Ice" test series on the very ice of the lake of St. Moritz.

And over the course of three Sundays in February, St. Moritz will play host to the "White Turf" horse race meeting as encompasses traditional thoroughbred races on the lake ice and a cross-country skijouring race in which the jockeys are towed behind riderless horses; over CHF400,000 in purses are on offer.

Add to that the upcoming Cartier World Cup Polo on Snow series, and you've got a rather interesting set of items that should be of interest to "weird news" aficionados.

And to think that St. Moritz' reputation as a winter resort started with a wager between a local innkeeper by name of Badrutt and four of his regular summer guests from London back in 1864, inviting them to stay the winter in the Engadine @ Herr Badrutt's expense, for as long as they wanted--only by the tenth day of their visit, the guests (who arrived with their families and friends) offered to pay for their stay.

And stayed on until Easter, as it turned out.

Thus the world beat a path to the Diva of the Swiss Alps, a path which has now become well-worn, and then some. (BTW, perhaps the best way to reach St. Moritz is by way of the Glacier Express, "the world's slowest fast train" as is itself something of a legend among rail travellers and the Eurailpass set.)

*************

SO MUCH FOR EXPECTING CHILDREN TO DEVELOP A "HEALTHY" RESPECT FOR "RACIAL HONOUR AND PRIDE," all the while excusing same as True Patriot Love in All Thy Sons Command:

Your Correspondent hath it that schools across Australia will begin incorporating into their primary-school curriculum lessons in multiculturalism, diversity and tolerance when the new school term starts Down Under next week, starting @ preschool level.

Day nurseries will also include multiculturalism lessons.

In contrast, a closer look @ Christian Homeschooling curricular materials reveals where its greater syllabus amounts to nothing short of sugar-coated bigotry, racism, xenophobia and intolerance, excused all along as a healthy manifestation of Christian Love. Add an enforced social isolation common to the element, and what you have is nothing less than the makings of a hybrid of Archie Bunker/Alf Garnett and Ed Gein, hard-wired besides.

Yet the same Christian Homeschooling crowd expects their children to look upon America as The One Centre of the World, the Universe and the 28 Known Galaxies!

*************

MEMO TO "WORK-FROM-HOME" AND "HOME BUSINESS" ADVERTISERS seeking to exploit the socioeconomic instability some see as imminent, with its adverse effects upon the Lower Classes in particular (and especially so such using testimonials/endorsements to create an aura of glowing generalities):

Your timely attention is called to Section 15 of the Better Business Bureau's Advertising Code (Testimonials and Endorsements), to wit:

In general, advertising which uses testimonials or endorsements is likely to mislead or confuse if:

• it is not genuine and does not actually represent the current opinion of the endorser;
• it is not quoted in its entirety, thereby altering its overall meaning and impact;
• it contains representations or statements which would be misleading if otherwise used in advertising;
• while literally true, it creates deceptive implications;
• the endorser is not competent or sufficently qualified to express an opinion concerning the quality of the product or service being advertised or the results likely to be achieved by its use;
• it is not clearly stated that the endorser, associated with some well-known and highly-regarded institution, is speaking only in a personal capacity, and not on behalf of such an institution, if such be the fact;
• broad claims are made as to endorsement or approval by indefinitely large or vague groups, e.g., "the homeowners of America" or "the doctors of America;"
• an endorser has a pecuniary interest in the company whose product or service is endorsed and this is not made known in the advertisement.

Advertisers should consult current Federal Trade Commission Guides on Endorsements and Testimonials for more detailed guidance.

IIBC, FTC regulations also require disclosure of whether endorsers received any type of payment or other consideration for use of their testimonials or endorsements in advertising.

So what prevents such disclosures in the first place?

And are such carpetbagger types likely to invoke "commercial free speech" patsies as a defence in any complaints called to the attention of the Better Business Bureaux challenging veracity or sincerity of testimonials used in "work-from-home" offers, especially if new? 

WHEN "REAL MEN" STOPS AND "MALE CHAUVINIST" BEGINS: To hear some of the more pathetic specimens of religiopolitical homophobia put it, one of the more obvious causes of one developing "homosexual tendencies" is a lack of "healthy respect for [one's] masculinity" in relation to Cultural Heritage and National Honour and Identity.

Preferably to be expressed in the form of "healthy conditioning" by the parental units in childhood, in particular the likes of wrestiling and other exercises designed to promote "healthy" masculine feelings; anything less risked the boy's "serious descent" into homosexuality, still to be regarded by Those Who Should Know Better as a Serious Aberration and Mental Disorder.

Your Correspondent, come to think of it, has to wonder if the real intention of promoting "healthy masculinity" by such means is to perpetuate male chauvinism and domination--and to excuse the same as "cultural heritage" in case one needs a proper defence. (As if "cultural heritage" really mattered as a serious issue when it came to the defence of masculinity.)

And it's enough to wonder if the so-called "real men" are really closer to male chauvinists expected to flaunt their chauvinism as a show of National and Cultural Honour and Identity--never mind that some of the more likely displays of male-chauvinist bonding under such warped circumstances (especially among the easily-influenced) include the likes of:

• Spending most of their time drinking beer and swapping obscene stories;
• Eating high-fat junk food;
• Spending too much time among the Dregs of Society, and in such haunts as they are known to frequent (including beer parlours, taverns, hunting parties, liquor stores and suchlike haunts of poor male role models generally);
• Wasting too much of their pay on liquor, lottery tickets (and unlikely to win anything of substance except refund prizes) and crude pornographic matter;
• Watching films and TV programmes featuring extreme ultraviolence (especially the gratuitous sort), unnecessary sexualisation of women and/or children, and dubious sport like NASCAR and so-called "professional wrestling;"
• Beating their wives without provocation or warning, usually as a precursor to the old actu coitus (reinforced with approriate threats as necessary);
• Frequently absenting himself from the house, without regard for wife or children, and with the wife getting rather worried to the point of paranoia about his spending too much time "with the boys" as if they were rather dangerous themselves; and
• Suggesting that the children get out of the house after breakfast on weekends and during school vacation periods, not to return home until just before the supper hour (and cooking up plenty of cheap excuses to explain in case the police start asking questions, with a likely referral to the Child Welfare).

And for this the Pseudoreligiopolitical Right wants men to remain all the more conscious of their masculinity to the point of overt chauvinism in the name of G-d and Country, if need be?

*************

WHY "SPAM" IS NEVER A GOOD WAY TO PROMOTE WEBSITES: For some reason or another, there are those who see search engines, site swaps, banner exchanges and other forms of website promotion as ineffective and, hence, poor value for money in attracting "quality" site traffic.

No doubt explaining why they would prefer that intending webmasters use "bulk e-mail marketing" (read: spamming) as the marketing tool of choice. The contention, no doubt, being that:

• everybody seems to have an e-mail address these days;
• everybody reads their e-mail @ least once a day; and
• ergo, it makes sense for webmasters to use "targeted bulk e-mail marketing" as a more cost-efficent way to attract the kind of website visitors they would like to see visiting, and to be sure of a fresher, timelier response besides.

The Reality, however, is that, apart from the weird and unwholesome sort of online business (e.g., "online pharmacies," "multi-level marketing" schemes, "work-from-home" offers and adult websites), "spam" is not all that those involved want you and me to believe, let alone their making it sound attractive in pathetically glowing terms, for more mainstream businesses. As a matter of fact, virtually every company in the Fortune 500 and the Inc. 250 choose not to use unsolicited bulk e-mail as part of their marketing mix, for fear of ailenating especially long-established customers and attracting complaints in certain quarters.

As if that weren't enough, the same unscrupulous elements--and others of that ilk--are starting to push the concept of "blog spam" as a way to market websites; here, the thinking is that, with so many blogging or otherwise reading weblogs every day, such could actually be an equally-effective way to attract website traffic as translates into value for money. (Such thinking is fatally flawed, IIBC: Virtually all the major blog hosts have adopted procedures which allow bloggers to restrict blogging access only to themselves, or to such as have a special invitation, the better to control "blog spam.")

There are better ways--more orthodox ways, even--of attracting attention to your website.

One such I have started using is Web CEO - ultimate software suite for Web site promotion; all it takes is a short download onto your PC to start analysing your website and submit such to the leading search engines and directories.

As well as analyse any keywords and meta tags you're using to more efficently prep your site for optimum results in attracting search engine traffic. 

And it's free, to boot. Just click the link above to see what Web CEO can do for you, or to download the free version onto your PC.

Another way I prefer: The old reliable letterposts--you just have to do it right to get the right results. Not to mention providing work to letter carriers, clerks and sorters, the whole lot within the Postal Service as is involved with handling mails as needs the work more than ever.

I also include a link in the signature line of my e-mails as a marketing tool.

So there are more efficent (and more orthodox) ways of attracting traffic to your weblog or site than "spam"--methinks "bulk e-mail marketing" amounts to nothing short of cheap lily-gilding concealing sinister intent.

AFTER A TWO DAY PERIOD WHICH SAW YOUR CORRESPONDENT CONFINED TO APARTMENT here in Winona thanks to sharply cold weather and wind chills, he returned back to a sort of normal routine this morning.

As in keeping the que vive around the office of a certain motel here in Winona (name on request), not to mention maintaining the coffee service therefor in same.

Back to the weather for a moment: Things should improve(?!) slightly as the day wears on, with maxima expected in the mid-teens Fahrenheit (and remaining stable through the night) along with some snow in the bargain. Which, by Sunday, could segue into near 40 degrees Fahrenheit along with rain showers, returning to a more seasonable pattern as January segues into February.

*************

THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE OF THE ALMANACAL PERSUASION OUT THERE IN THE GREATER BLOGOSPHERE may not know it, but when it comes to noting Sundays therein, a device known as a Dominical Letter is used.

Same being the letters A-G, inclusive, depending on when the first Sunday in the year fell; e.g., if January 1st was the first Sunday of the year, A would be used in almanacks to designate Sundays. However, in the case of leap years such as this, two sets of Dominical Letters are used, one covering the months of January and February, the other for the rest of the year.

In the case of 2008, the two Dominical Letters are F (inasmuch as the first Sunday of the year was January 6th) and, from March, B (inasmuch as the first Sunday after the February 29th leap day is March 2nd).

For 2009, your Dominical Letter will be D (inasmuch as the first Sunday of that year is Sunday, January 4th).

Interesting what you can learn, no?

*************

ANOTHER WAY BY WHICH YOU CAN SUPPORT THIS BLOG, AND THEN SOME: After Your Correspondent's previous weblog, the daily phosdex, was nominated for Worst Weblog of All Time in the Blogger's Choice Awards, such attracted some attention and notice--as well as a few votes, but not enough for serious contention.

In that spirit, and in the interest of attracting some attention to (not to mention respect, or reasonable facsimilies thereof, for) this new blog, he has entered The Exaggerator into the Blogger's Choice Awards for 2008, the actual awards therefor based all the on your votes (which requires registration into same, just so you know).

Not just as Worst Weblog of All Time, but also as:

• Best Weblog of All Time
• Freakiest Blogger
• Most Obnoxious Blogger

(The voting links can be found on the left-hand side of the page, in case you'd like to show your support in any of these categories. I'd appreciate all the votes you can get in any or all of these categories.)

=============

YOU'LL NOTE WHERE THIS BLOG HAS BEEN ENTERED EQUALLY into both the Best Weblog of All Time and Worst Weblog of All Time categories of said Blogger's Choice Awards.

In case you ask, I decided to take this step for the sake of (to paraphrase the rather hackneyed ad slogan of Fox Noise) "fairness and balance;" i.e., if it's unlikely to attract votes (or support) for Best Weblog, then it's probable you can expect support for Worst Weblog. And vice versa, so to speak.

It's up to you, dear readers, to make the difference. But make sure you register first.

*************

WHAT RACIST AND WHITE-SUPREMACIST ZEALOTS AND TRUE BELIEVERS ARE LIKELY TO SEE as Divine Judgement upon South Africa for forsaking and repudiating the Divinely Ordained institution of apartheid: Videlicet, nearly three weeks of erratic power supplies across the South African national grid as have led to blackouts and suspension of interconnexions with several neighbouring countries in the region.

The which have become critical enough to prompt the major gold and platinum mining companies in South Africa to suspend production until reliable power supplies can be maintained by Eskom, South Africa's national power utility, to operate mine elevator shafts, lighting and water-pumping systems and even ventilation systems.

Not to mention providing further ammunition for the weird and unwholesome seeking the evacuation of the remaining Afrikaner population "facing fear of persecution from a Communistic-leaning regime" for being white and Christian (in the latter instance, more than likely following the Dutch Reformed model, or that which could be considered Fundamentalist or Primitive)--said "fear of persecution," however, needing to be seen as suspect or otherwise raising questions of their sincerity.

Especially if the "sponsoring" organisations in the United States (themselves with connexions to racists, white supremacists and neo-Nazis) are scripting the whole for such contacts they may have among the Afrikaner community in South Africa, in particular such elements unlikely to come to terms with the abolition of apartheid and their loss of (howbeit misguided) "privilege" under the ancien regime of enforced racism and, hence, must resort to fear and loathing to try and maintain their hubris-fuelled arrogance.

So what are Immigration and Customs Enforcement expected to do in the circumstances?

*************

FIRST, THERE WAS DON IMUS.

Then, Michael Savage.

Now, you can add Fox Noise's John Gibson to the list of pseudocommentators pandering to Those Who Should Know Better when it comes to exploiting latent racist, homophobic, xenophobic and jingoistic feelings and paranoia.

In Gibson's case, his rather tasteless remarks directed @ Heath Ledger in the wake of his shock death (as played upon his gay-cowboy role in Brokeback Mountain) were the last straw in a pattern which Media Matters for America has documented for your review (q.v.) and condemnation.

Methinks perhaps the dumbest of all was when Mr. Gibson echoed apartheid South Africa's "Maak Bokkies vir Botha" campaign of the mid-1980's to increase white birth rates in the name of National and Racial Honour.

In any event, John Gibson, insincere apology for the Heath Ledger crack notwithstanding, should be told in no uncertain terms (howbeit politely) that he no longer has the confidence or trust of the Right-Thinking American Peoples heretofore expected to accept such as gospel. That on top of what could be called Fox Noise's "verwerp almal bewyse van oë en ore" mentality expecting its audience of, for the most part, the Great Unwashed to play "goodthinker" (as in one who practices orthodoxy like second nature, accepting the prevailing Fox Noise agenda unswervingly and without question or reservation).

*************

BLAME IT ALL ON MIKE HUCKABEE: If you want evidence of "insects that spoil the vegetable live inside the vegetable" in action vis-a-vis the Pseudoreligiopolitical Right's power and influence on die Amerikanischer Realpolitik heading into Indecision 2008, consider these articles from People For the American Way's Right Wing Watch blog as evidence therefor.

Not to mention what The Wall Street Journal has to say about His Fraudulency perhaps helping to destroy any shred of credibility (as well as confidence and trust) the GOP may still have.

In other words, the GOP may have destroyed itself from within, if not already starting to. And may be forced to resort to "dirty tricks" to save any chance of credibility, requiring the involvement of weird and unwholesome elements all the more.

All good things must end--including this series, submitted for the Education and Enlightenment of All (especially so certain scions of the Pseudoreligiopolitical Right) with regards to provisions of the several State Constitutions as call for:

• establishment of free public education systems; and
• proscription of public funds being used for religiosectarian instruction.

(You can see the previous parts here.)

Here are the last specimens in this respect:

VIRGINIA:

• That free government rests, as does all progress, upon the broadest possible diffusion of knowledge, and that the Commonwealth should avail itself of those talents which nature has sown so liberally among its people by assuring the opportunity for their fullest development by an effective system of education throughout the Commonwealth. (Article I, section 15, Virginia Constitution)
• The General Assembly shall provide for a system of free public elementary and secondary schools for all children of school age throughout the Commonwealth, and shall seek to ensure that an educational program of high quality is established and continually maintained. (Article VIII, section 1, op. cit.)
• No appropriation of public funds shall be made to any school or institution of learning not owned or exclusively controlled by the State or some political subdivision thereof; provided, first, that the General Assembly may, and the governing bodies of the several counties, cities and towns may, subject to such limitations as may be imposed by the General Assembly, appropriate funds for educational purposes which may be expended in furtherance of elementary, secondary, collegiate or graduate education of Virginia students in public and nonsectarian private schools and institutions of learning, in addition to those owned or exclusively controlled by the State or any such county, city or town; second, that the General Assembly may appropriate funds to an agency, or to a school or institution of learning owned or controlled by an agency, created and established by two or more States under a joint agreement to which this State is a party for the purpose of providing educational facilities for the citizens of the several States joining in such agreement; third, that counties, cities, towns, and districts may make appropriations to nonsectarian schools of manual, industrial, or technical training, and also to any school or institution of learning owned or exclusively controlled by such county, city, town, or school district (Article VIII, section 10, op. cit.)

WASHINGTON:

• The legislature shall provide for a general and uniform system of public schools. The public school system shall include common schools, and such high schools, normal schools, and technical schools as may hereafter be established. But the entire revenue derived from the common school fund and the state tax for common schools shall be exclusively applied to the support of the common schools. (Article IX, section 2, Washington State Constitution)
• All schools maintained or supported wholly or in part by the public funds shall be forever free from sectarian control or influence. (Article IX, section 4, op. cit.)

WEST VIRGINIA:

• The Legislature shall provide, by general law, for a thorough and efficient system of free schools. (Article 12-1, West Virginia Constitution)

WYOMING:

• The legislature shall provide for the establishment and maintenance of a complete and uniform system of public instruction, embracing free elementary schools of every needed kind and grade, a university with such technical and professional departments as the public good may require and the means of the state allow, and such other institutions as may be necessary. (Section 97-7-001, Wyoming Constitution)
• No sectarian instruction, qualifications or tests shall be imparted, exacted, applied or in any manner tolerated in the schools of any grade or character controlled by the state, nor shall attendance be required at any religious service therein, nor shall any sectarian tenets or doctrines be taught or favored in any public school or institution that may be established under this constitution. (Section 97-7-012, op. cit.)

In closing, I trust that I have done you, reader, a viable service for the sake of Knowledge and Enlightenment in this an election year that could see America facing a serious crossroads--whether we remain on the path of liberty and democracy, or whether we wind up following the path of treachery, corruption and demagoguery under the dominion of elements weird and unwholesome, calling themselves "patriots" and "saviours" to, more than likely, disguise their unsavoury and dangerous sides.

Remember the immortal words of James Boswell: "Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel."

And those of Lord Acton: "Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely."