IN THEIR MISGUIDED DESIRE TO KEEP COSTS DOWN AND INCREASE CONSUMER VALUE FOR MONEY (PERHAPS IN KEEPING WITH HIS FRAUDULENCY'S WARPED DELUSIONS), companies and retailers have fallen for the delusion of moving production to China, with their low costs and all that.

And it turns out that consumers are paying the price in all-too-frequent product recalls because of health and safety risks discovered after the products reach retail channels--as in toys found to have lead-based paints and toothpastes containing ethylene glycol (as in antifreeze).

Now, it's emerged that Chinese-manufacture MP3 players, GPS navigation systems, mobile phones, Blackberry-emabled PDA's and other portable electronics may be infected with viruses.

As in computer viruses. Worms. Trojan horses. Malware.

Which, for the most part, can be traced to use of computers in the quality-control sections of Chinese manufacturing facilities as themselves contain viruses/or and malware programmes, the risk of which is aggravated by the all-too-likely use of pirated or otherwise counterfeit versions of Microsoft Windows picked up on the cheap just to keep costs down all the further (as in, say, "spam" e-mails promoting "not-expensive, high quality OEM software" as itself turns out being an infected "clone" copy).

And when the appliance(s) are synchronised with your own PC, things can get all the more nasty when the viruses picked up during quality-control checks back in China migrate onto your own PC.

(In other words, deliberate sabotage on the manufacturing end being a bit unlikely--or is it?)

All this because of our own complacent acceptance of Wally World just to keep costs down for the Greater Glory of G-d, Country and Capitalism with American Characteristics.

Which begs the question of whether reliable programmes exist to identify "infected" portable consumer electronics before reaching point of sale--and how best to disinfect same to prevent damage on your own end.

=============

STAYING WITH CHINA FOR A MOMENT, IT SEEMS THE TIBETAN PEOPLE HAVE BECOME RESTLESS to the point of rioting in the Tibetan capital of Lhasa as has caused the looting and fire-bombing of anything suggesting Chinese influence and the local People's Liberation Army garrison firing CS gas--but not before smoke has been observed over the rather thin atmosphere of beautiful downtown Lhasa.

Inevitably, Xinhua will pin blame on the Dalai Lama as some class of an agent provocateur for "misguided Tibetan elements" behind the same.

It's no wonder the Great Hall of the Peoples is getting rather paranoid to the point of ballistic, fearing the "enlightenment" of the rabble to the point of "social disorder" ensuing--which could get all the worse thanks to rumoured mass socioeconomic dislocation thanks (in its turn) to His Fraudulency's misadventures in ur-RAHOWA form which he's stated will be "forever," and were "divinely ordained."

(Which begs the question of what exactly His Fraudulency has been smoking of late....)

*************

TALK ABOUT WARPED AND ILLOGICAL POLITICAL PRIORITIES AND ARTICLES OF FAITH as are so detached from The Big Picture, those behind such misguided priorities are forced to take all manner of Extreme Measures just to save themselves from further scandal--only to realise all may be in vain.

Down With Tyranny notes where a onetime GOP legislator from Oklahoma has noted a "dangerous" paradigm shift in their agenda and articles of faith--dangerous enough to be a serious wake-up call for the GOP if it expects to maintain public trust and confidence by avoiding dangerous and potentially destructive measures:

Yesterday [13 March] we ran a post about Sally Kern, the state legislator who is on a personal jihad against gay people, probably because of the emotional breakdown she suffered after disowning a gay son. She happens to represent an Oklahoma City district. Several friends from Oklahoma-- progressive allies-- were offended because they felt the piece was a knock against their beloved state. It most certainly wasn't. We emphasized that another Oklahoma City-based state legislator, state Senator Andrew Rice was appalled by Kern's hate-filled outburst.

I have since heard that a number of conservative Republicans in Oklahoma, although unwilling to do anything to discipline or even censure Kern publicly, have distanced themselves from her and her crackpot positions. The Democratic governor of the state, Brad Henry told local media that he doesn't think Kern's remarks represent Oklahoma, "and I would just urge all public officials in Oklahoma to cool the rhetoric. Think before you speak, and be respectful of all people," Henry said.

Today [14 March] another conservative Oklahoma Republican says he has noticed a radical--and dangerous--shift in his political party. Edwards represented OK-05 (most of Oklahoma City) for 16 years starting in from 1977 and was part of the House GOP leadership and a founder of the right-wing Heritage Foundation and the Chairman of the American Conservative Union. Speaking today at the Foreign Affairs Subcommittee on International Organizations, Human Rights, and Oversight, Edwards chastised Republican rubber stamps who have abdictated their constitutional responsibilities to march lockstep behind Bush's extremist and degenerate agenda. Feel free to watch him on this eight and a half minute video. He is very harsh on his fellow conservatives' unwillingness to do their most fundamental jobs.

"When the Constitution was adopted in 1787, when it was written in 1787 rather, we faced both Britain and France with the power, had they decided to focus on the United States, of strangling this country in the crib. They could have wiped us out. And we had a great man about to become president, George Washington. And with George Washington about to assume the presidency, and two countries ready to wipe us out if they so chose, the Founding Fathers said we are still going to withhold from the presidency the powers that kings have traditionally held. So that's why the Constitution is not vague about who declares war, not vague at all. In fact, if you look at the Constitution and I'm sure you do, it even includes giving the Congress authority over treatment of prisoners, which people here seem to have forgotten. So let me just close with this: I'm partisan. I'm a Republican, I was Chairman of the Republican Policy Committee when I was in the House, part of the Republican Leadership. I prefer Republican policies. But political party loyalty cannot trump the Constitution. Loyalty to a president of your own party, when it violates the Constitutional principles, is acquiescence in something that violates the oath of office every Member of Congress takes. There is no excuse for taking the oath, saying 'I’m going to uphold the Constitution'--we all did that right?--'I’m going to uphold the Constitution.' You take loyalty to the United States and this Constitution, not to a president. And we have seen to often a tendency of Members of Congress to line up with the quarterback instead of lining up with the Constitution."

Oklahoma should be proud. In fact, Oklahoma Republicans should be proud. Mary FallIn, who holds Edwards' old seat should think long and hard about his words, as should James Inhofe, probably the absolute worst rubber stamp for Bush and Cheney in the entire Senate, even willing to put in grave jeopardy the well-being of America's military personnel so he can keep his voting record in sync with Bush Regime policies. We asked Andrew Rice, the Blue America-endorsed candidate running for the Senate seat held by Inhofe-- and an admirer of politicians who can put the good of the country ahead of the good of a political party--to comment on Congressman Edwards' testimony.

Former Congressman Edwards belongs to the reasonable and principled wing of the Republican party in Oklahoma that Jim Inhofe has done his best to marginalize and shove underground for many years. There is no better way to describe Inhofe other than "he puts party before good government," again and again and again. Oklahoma would be much better served if, like Edwards said today, we had people who were loyal to the constitution rather than just to the donkey or elephant. As the next junior Senator from Oklahoma, I will always do what I feel is best for Oklahoma, whether it is politically popular or not. Converesely, Jim Inhofe has always done what is best for his political party, regardless of whether it is consistent with the constitution or not.

Regardez, readers--the video can be seen right here for yourself:

ONE THING WHICH YOUR CORRESPONDENT WOULD LIKE TO ASK all of you @ this time:

Enter the ICHC online Poker Cats Contest!

• My Yahoo!
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...and you can also read it on your mobile phone, thanks to special RSS readers designed for Internet-enabled PDA's (and can be subscribed to as above).

All in all, a convenient "one-stop" site for your RSS subscription needs and requirements. Which is what Your Correspondent prefers to spare you bedlam and confusion.

CNN RECENTLY MADE NOTE OF ACTUAL INSTANCES DURING CAMPAIGN APPEARENCES BY HILLARY RODHAM-CLINTON AND BARACK OBAMA in which audience members fainted, prompting the inevitable impromptu comments from the candidates and requests for such in the audience to render medical assistance to those so fainting.

Which, said report notes, have led some conspiracist types online to enquire if the fainting attacks were staged deliberately to distract attention from the campaign message (as in media jamming or pranking), howbeit absent credible evidence.

Let's hope the John McCain campaign sees a few well-timed, and perhaps spontaneous, episodes of fainting attacks during campaign stops, especially such which wind up on YouTube within measurable distance. Not to mention McCain going into @ least one on-camera tantrum as displays why he is nothing less than The Terrible-Tempered Mr. Bang of Indecision 2008.

Even more embarrassing if it happens that McCain is seen having further les liasons dangeruses with someone in the vein of Aunt Eppie Hogg (Fattest Woman in 3 Counties).

WE CONTINUE THIS IMPROMPTU SERIES OF SUGGESTIONS IN THE POEMS OF ROBERT BURNS, the famous Scots such, by which rallies conducted by the so-called "Westboro Baptist Church" of Topeka serving no benefit but to disrupt funeral or memorial services on rather pathetic "educational" grounds can be disrupted to the point of the Phelps family--essentially the membership of said church--being vexed.

This time, we feature "The Holy Fair," a satire on such festivals as were common in the Scotland of Rabbie's time that were a cross between a revivalist camp meeting and a county fair which all too often degenerated into vice and prostitution being rampant--so much so, in fact, that the poem's publication led to public outcry as eventually caused such fairs to be banned as threats to public order and decency:

A robe of seeming truth and trust
Hid crafty Observation;
And secret hung, with poison'd crust,
The dirk of Defamation:

A mask that like the gorget show'd,
Dye-varying on the pigeon;
And for a mantle large and broad,
He wrapt him in Religion.
Hypocrisy A-La-Mode

Upon a simmer Sunday morn
When Nature's face is fair,
I walked forth to view the corn,
An' snuff the caller air.
The rising sun owre Galston muirs
Wi' glorious light was glintin;
The hares were hirplin down the furrs,
The lav'rocks they were chantin
Fu' sweet that day.

As lightsomely I glowr'd abroad,
To see a scene sae gay,
Three hizzies, early at the road,
Cam skelpin up the way.
Twa had manteeles o" dolefu' black,
But ane wi' lyart lining;
The third, that gaed a wee a-back,
Was in the fashion shining
Fu' gay that day.

The twa appear'd like sisters twin,
In feature, form, an' claes;
Their visage wither'd, lang an' thin,
An' sour as only slaes:
The third cam up, hap-stap-an'-lowp,
As light as ony lambie,
An' wi'a curchie low did stoop,
As soon as e'er she saw me,
Fu' kind that day.

Wi' bonnet aff, quoth I, "Sweet lass,
I think ye seem to ken me;
I'm sure I've seen that bonie face
But yet I canna name ye."
Quo' she, an' laughin as she spak,
An' taks me by the han's,
"Ye, for my sake, hae gien the feck
Of a' the ten comman's
A screed some day."

"My name is Fun-your cronie dear,
The nearest friend ye hae;
An' this is Superstitution here,
An' that's Hypocrisy.
I'm gaun to Mauchline Holy Fair,
To spend an hour in daffin:
Gin ye'll go there, yon runkl'd pair,
We will get famous laughin
At them this day."

Quoth I, "Wi' a' my heart, I'll do't;
I'll get my Sunday's sark on,
An' meet you on the holy spot;
Faith, we'se hae fine remarkin!"
Then I gaed hame at crowdie-time,
An' soon I made me ready;
For roads were clad, frae side to side,
Wi' mony a weary body
In droves that day.

Here farmers gash, in ridin graith,
Gaed hoddin by their cotters;
There swankies young, in braw braid-claith,
Are springing owre the gutters.
The lasses, skelpin barefit, thrang,
In silks an' scarlets glitter;
Wi' sweet-milk cheese, in mony a whang,
An' farls, bak'd wi' butter,
Fu' crump that day.

When by the plate we set our nose,
Weel heaped up wi' ha'pence,
A greedy glowr black-bonnet throws,
An' we maun draw our tippence.
Then in we go to see the show:
On ev'ry side they're gath'rin;
Some carrying dails, some chairs an' stools,
An' some are busy bleth'rin
Right loud that day.

Here stands a shed to fend the show'rs,
An' screen our countra gentry;
There Racer Jess, an' twa-three whores,
Are blinkin at the entry.
Here sits a raw o' tittlin jads,
Wi' heaving breast an' bare neck;
An' there a batch o' wabster lads,
Blackguarding frae Kilmarnock,
For fun this day.

Here, some are thinkin on their sins,
An' some upo' their claes;
Ane curses feet that fyl'd his shins,
Anither sighs an' prays:
On this hand sits a chosen swatch,
Wi' screwed-up, grace-proud faces;
On that a set o' chaps, at watch,
Thrang winkin on the lasses
To chairs that day.

O happy is that man, an' blest!
Nae wonder that it pride him!
Whase ain dear lass, that he likes best,
Comes clinkin down beside him!
Wi' arms repos'd on the chair back,
He sweetly does compose him;
Which, by degrees, slips round her neck,
An's loof upon her bosom,
Unkend that day.

Now a' the congregation o'er
Is silent expectation;
For Moodie speels the holy door,
Wi' tidings o' damnation:

Should Hornie, as in ancient days,
'Mang sons o' God present him,
The vera sight o' Moodie's face,
To 's ain het hame had sent him
Wi' fright that day.

Hear how he clears the point o' faith
Wi' rattlin and wi' thumpin!
Now meekly calm, now wild in wrath,
He's stampin, an' he's jumpin!
His lengthen'd chin, his turned-up snout,
His eldritch squeel an' gestures,
O how they fire the heart devout,
Like cantharidian plaisters
On sic a day!

But hark! the tent has chang'd its voice,
There's peace an' rest nae langer;
For a' the real judges rise,
They canna sit for anger,
Smith opens out his cauld harangues,
On practice and on morals;
An' aff the godly pour in thrangs,
To gie the jars an' barrels
A lift that day.

What signifies his barren shine,
Of moral powers an' reason?
His English style, an' gesture fine
Are a' clean out o' season.
Like Socrates or Antonine,
Or some auld pagan heathen,
The moral man he does define,
But ne'er a word o' faith in
That's right that day.

In guid time comes an antidote
Against sic poison'd nostrum;
For Peebles, frae the water-fit,
Ascends the holy rostrum:

See, up he's got, the word o' God,
An' meek an' mim has view'd it,
While Common-sense has taen the road,
An' aff, an' up the Cowgate
Fast, fast that day.

Wee Miller neist the guard relieves,
An' Orthodoxy raibles,
Tho' in his heart he weel believes,
An' thinks it auld wives' fables:
But faith! the birkie wants a manse,
So, cannilie he hums them;
Altho' his carnal wit an' sense
Like hafflins-wise o'ercomes him
At times that day.

Now, butt an' ben, the change-house fills,
Wi' yill-caup commentators;
Here 's cryin out for bakes and gills,
An' there the pint-stowp clatters;
While thick an' thrang, an' loud an' lang,
Wi' logic an' wi' scripture,
They raise a din, that in the end
Is like to breed a rupture
O' wrath that day.

Leeze me on drink! it gies us mair
Than either school or college;
It kindles wit, it waukens lear,
It pangs us fou o' knowledge:
Be't whisky-gill or penny wheep,
Or ony stronger potion,
It never fails, or drinkin deep,
To kittle up our notion,
By night or day.

The lads an' lasses, blythely bent
To mind baith saul an' body,
Sit round the table, weel content,
An' steer about the toddy:

On this ane's dress, an' that ane's leuk,
They're makin observations;
While some are cozie i' the neuk,
An' forming assignations
To meet some day.

But now the Lord's ain trumpet touts,
Till a' the hills are rairin,
And echoes back return the shouts;
Black Russell is na sparin:
His piercin words, like Highlan' swords,
Divide the joints an' marrow;
His talk o' Hell, whare devils dwell,
Our vera "sauls does harrow"
Wi' fright that day!

A vast, unbottom'd, boundless pit,
Fill'd fou o' lowin brunstane,
Whase raging flame, an' scorching heat,
Wad melt the hardest whun-stane!
The half-asleep start up wi' fear,
An' think they hear it roarin;
When presently it does appear,
'Twas but some neibor snorin
Asleep that day.

'Twad be owre lang a tale to tell,
How mony stories past;
An' how they crouded to the yill,
When they were a' dismist;
How drink gaed round, in cogs an' caups,
Amang the furms an' benches;
An' cheese an' bread, frae women's laps,
Was dealt about in lunches
An' dawds that day.

In comes a gawsie, gash guidwife,
An' sits down by the fire,
Syne draws her kebbuck an' her knife;
The lasses they are shyer:
The auld guidmen, about the grace
Frae side to side they bother;
Till some ane by his bonnet lays,
An' gies them't like a tether,
Fu' lang that day.

Waesucks! for him that gets nae lass,
Or lasses that hae naething!
Sma' need has he to say a grace,
Or melvie his braw claithing!
O wives, be mindfu' ance yoursel'
How bonie lads ye wanted;
An' dinna for a kebbuck-heel
Let lasses be affronted
On sic a day!

Now Clinkumbell, wi' rattlin tow,
Begins to jow an' croon;
Some swagger hame the best they dow,
Some wait the afternoon.
At slaps the billies halt a blink,
Till lasses strip their shoon:
Wi' faith an' hope, an' love an' drink,
They're a' in famous tune
For crack that day.

How mony hearts this day converts
O' sinners and o' lasses!
Their hearts o' stane, gin night, are gane
As saft as ony flesh is:
There's some are fou o' love divine;
There's some are fou o' brandy;
An' mony jobs that day begin,
May end in houghmagandie
Some ither day.

(Could this also serve as insight to Religiopolitical Right rallies?)

===TO BE CONTINUED===

DOES THE FOLLOWING "PROPAGANDA" VIDEO SOUND RATHER FAMILIAR IN MESSAGE--only with homosexuals replacing Jews as the Enemies of the Nation and Our Children?

"As a matter of fact, studies show that no society that has totally embraced homosexuality has lasted more than, you know, a few decades. So it's the death knell for this country. I honestly think it's the biggest threat our nation has, even more so than terrorism or Islam."

This reads like it was lifted straight from the boilerplate rhetoric of the Watchmen on the Walls, an international coalition of anti-gay militants based in Latvia that has a strong presence on the West Coast of the United States. Watchmen leader Alexey Ledyaev has repeatedly claimed that gays are taking over the West in order to prime the culture for an even more radical conquest by Islamic terrorists.

"Did you know that the city council of Eureka Springs [Ark.] is now controlled by gays?"

Earlier this year, the anti-gay American Family Association released "They're Coming To Your Town," a 28-minute DVD that purports to show how the resort town of Eureka Springs, Ark. [pop. 2,350] was taken over in a homosexual coup. "Using deceitfulness and lies, homosexuals maneuvered themselves into positions of power and then used those positions to promote their agenda," reads an AFA press release promoting the DVD.

"They [gays and lesbians] have more suicides, they're more discouraged, there's more illness, their life spans are shorter, you know, it's not a lifestyle that is good for this nation."

"This stuff [homosexuality] is deadly and it is spreading. It will destroy our young people and it will destroy this nation."

Though she doesn't cite specific data, Kern's claims about the deadly lifestyle and shortened life spans of gays and lesbians are probably fueled by the pseudo-scientific reports of crackpot psychologist Paul Cameron, a popular speaker on the anti-gay lecture circuit of the Christian Right who portrays gays and lesbians as dangerous, diseased perverts whose average life span is only 45 years. Cameron's work has been thoroughly discredited by mainstream social researchers. One of his most infamous studies found that "lesbians are 300 times more likely to die in car accidents than heterosexual women."

Which, all in all, begs the question of whether this is essentially a rehashing of the same anti-Semitic canards and platitudes which the Nazi regime pushed as fact, thanks in large measure to Julius Streicher's pornographically lurid tabloid Der Sturmer (as discussed previously in my Open Letter to Bill O'Reilly), with homosexuals replacing Jews as the Enemies of the People (especially so children and Other Vulnerable Elements of Society).

Never mind where the GLBTQ community may be lacking in material similar to the Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion as can be cited in "evidence" to such an International Conspiracy (the Protocols, in fact, have been repeatedly discredited as forgery serving crude and debauched anti-Semitic purposes).

(As if to reinforce this notion, John Aravosis of AMERICAblog has this interesting side-by-side comparison so you can judge for yourself.)

*************

IF YOU THOUGHT L'AFFAIRE SPITZER ENDED WITH THE NEW YORK GOVERNOR'S SHOCK RESIGNATION YESTERDAY, you may probably be wrong: Methinks Your Correspondent is of the belief that the GOP may have set up the whole thing to cast discredit or contempt on the Democratic Party for purely electoral purposes vis-a-vis Indecision 2008.

(Come to think of it, the involvement of the Pseudoreligiopolitical Right in seeking out an "imminent moral collapse" angle to the story ought not be ruled out.)

And it's probably not out of the question for the GOP to start getting paranoid about the likelihood of Democratic "payback" @ the GOP convention in the Twin Cities (as in having @ least one prominent and powerful GOP and/or Religiopolitical Right leader caught in Pantsdown Parade).

*************

AND YOU THINK IT'S WE "MORALLY SUPERIOR" AMERICANS AS ARE FACING ELECTORAL BEDLAM AND CONFUSION EXCLUSIVELY--welllll--!!!

• Following the collapse of the Serbian government over Kosovo's Unilateral Declaration of Independence last month (aided and abetted by nationalist Prime Minister Voislav Kostunica losing a no-confidence vote in the parliament), the Belgrade government has now been formally dissolved and new elections called for 11 May--which, incidentally, coincides with the 150th anniversary of Minnesota's statehood.
• Ahead of elections in Zimbabwe next month, Prime Minister Robert Mugabe once again called for "meddling foreign observers" to stay away, fearing such was one with "unlawful interference in Zimbabwe's internal affairs and soverignty" (and, inevitably, raising questions that said elections would be neither free nor fair)--but then again, welcoming low-level GOP PsyOps operatives to act in a "stealth" capacity to find ways to further manupulate Indecision 2008, and excuse such as being for G-d and Country.

*************

IF THIS SOUNDS LIKE TRYING TO PREVENT A PLAGUE BY FIRST KILLING OFF THE GERM, USW.: Health officials in Hong Kong have announced that the Easter school break will start a week earlier than usual to help contain a flu outbreak as has led to several deaths among elementary-school students and their schools closed for cleaning and decontamination.   

FOR THOSE AMONG YOU LOOKING FOR EFFECTIVE, YET PEACEFUL, WAYS TO DEAL WITH THE "EDUCATIONAL" PROTESTS from the so-called "Westboro Baptist Church" of Topeka @ the funerals of real or suspected homosexuals and Other Deviant Elements, whose acceptance (or so Rev. Fred Phelps thinks) by the American People and Nation are causing Grave Moral and Spiritual Harm and Calamity, as manifested in the likes of casualties from the ur-RAHOWA Against International Terrorism, one I could think of could be to use a portable tannoy and direct the protesters' attention to Certain Interesting and Worthwhile Poems of Robert Burns (Scots; 1759-1796), delivered all the while in unmistakable Scots brouge as marked Rabbie's poetry.

And is being kept alive by the likes of Oor Wullie and The Broons.

One such I could recommend to arouse the ire of these inbreds as call themselves the "congregation" of "Westboro Baptist" would have to be "Holy Willie's Prayer," as thus:

Argument.

Holy Willie was a rather oldish bachelor elder, in the parish of
Mauchline, and much and justly famed for that polemical chattering, which ends
in tippling orthodoxy, and for that spiritualized bawdry which refines to
liquorish devotion. In a sessional process with a gentleman in Mauchline-a
Mr.Gavin Hamilton-Holy Willie and his priest, Father Auld, after full hearing
in the presbytery of Ayr, came off but second best; owing partly to the
oratorical powers of Mr. Robert Aiken, Mr. Hamilton's counsel; but chiefly to
Mr. Hamilton's being one of the most irreproachable and truly respectable
characters in the county. On losing the process, the muse overheard him
at his devotions, as follows:-

O Thou, who in the heavens does dwell,
Who, as it pleases best Thysel',
Sends ane to heaven an' ten to hell,
A' for Thy glory,
And no for ony gude or ill
They've done afore Thee!

I bless and praise Thy matchless might,
When thousands Thou hast left in night,
That I am here afore Thy sight,
For gifts an' grace
A burning and a shining light
To a' this place.

What was I, or my generation,
That I should get sic exaltation,
I wha deserve most just damnation
For broken laws,
Five thousand years ere my creation,
Thro' Adam's cause?

When frae my mither's womb I fell,
Thou might hae plunged me in hell,
To gnash my gums, to weep and wail,
In burnin lakes,
Where damned devils roar and yell,
Chain'd to their stakes.

Yet I am here a chosen sample,
To show thy grace is great and ample;
I'm here a pillar o' Thy temple,
Strong as a rock,
A guide, a buckler, and example,
To a' Thy flock.

O Lord, Thou kens what zeal I bear,
When drinkers drink, an' swearers swear,
An' singin there, an' dancin here,
Wi' great and sma';
For I am keepit by Thy fear
Free frae them a'.

But yet, O Lord! confess I must,
At times I'm fash'd wi' fleshly lust:
An' sometimes, too, in wardly trust,
Vile self gets in:
But Thou remembers we are dust,
Defil'd wi' sin.

O Lord! yestreen, Thou kens, wi' Meg-
Thy pardon I sincerely beg,
O! may't ne'er be a livin plague
To my dishonour,
An' I'll ne'er lift a lawless leg
Again upon her.

Besides, I farther maun allow,
Wi' Leezie's lass, three times I trow-
But Lord, that Friday I was fou,
When I cam near her;
Or else, Thou kens, Thy servant true
Wad never steer her.

Maybe Thou lets this fleshly thorn
Buffet Thy servant e'en and morn,
Lest he owre proud and high shou'd turn,
That he's sae gifted:
If sae, Thy han' maun e'en be borne,
Until Thou lift it.

Lord, bless Thy chosen in this place,
For here Thou hast a chosen race:
But God confound their stubborn face,
An' blast their name,
Wha bring Thy elders to disgrace
An' public shame.

Lord, mind Gaw'n Hamilton's deserts;
He drinks, an' swears, an' plays at cartes,
Yet has sae mony takin arts,
Wi' great and sma',
Frae God's ain priest the people's hearts
He steals awa.

An' when we chasten'd him therefor,
Thou kens how he bred sic a splore,
An' set the warld in a roar
O' laughing at us;-
Curse Thou his basket and his store,
Kail an' potatoes.

Lord, hear my earnest cry and pray'r,
Against that Presbyt'ry o' Ayr;
Thy strong right hand, Lord, make it bare
Upo' their heads;
Lord visit them, an' dinna spare,
For their misdeeds.

O Lord, my God! that glib-tongu'd Aiken,
My vera heart and flesh are quakin,
To think how we stood sweatin', shakin,
An' p-'d wi' dread,
While he, wi' hingin lip an' snakin,
Held up his head.

Lord, in Thy day o' vengeance try him,
Lord, visit them wha did employ him,
And pass not in Thy mercy by 'em,
Nor hear their pray'r,
But for Thy people's sake, destroy 'em,
An' dinna spare.

But, Lord, remember me an' mine
Wi' mercies temp'ral an' divine,
That I for grace an' gear may shine,
Excell'd by nane,
And a' the glory shall be thine,
Amen, Amen!

And, for the sake of thoroughness, the "Epitaph on Holy Willie:"

Here Holy Willie's sair worn clay
Taks up its last abode;
His saul has ta'en some other way,
I fear, the left-hand road.

Stop! there he is, as sure's a gun,
Poor, silly body, see him;
Nae wonder he's as black's the grun,
Observe wha's standing wi' him.

Your brunstane devilship, I see,
Has got him there before ye;
But haud your nine-tail cat a wee,
Till ance you've heard my story.

Your pity I will not implore,
For pity ye have nane;
Justice, alas! has gi'en him o'er,
And mercy's day is gane.

But hear me, Sir, deil as ye are,
Look something to your credit;
A coof like him wad stain your name,
If it were kent ye did it.

(Could you also imagine "Holy Willie's Prayer" being an effective weapon of disrupting Religiopolitical Right rallies and conclaves tending to cross the line into overzealous fanaticism?)

===TO BE CONTINUED===

Enter the ICHC online Poker Cats Contest!

A number of media outlets have picked up on John McCain's embrace of fringe televangelist John Hagee, although (thanks in part to the Catholic League's efforts) the focus has been on Hagee's anti-Catholic sentiment rather than the pastor's far-right political views or his obsession that Israel must be defeated by a Russian-Arab military alliance, perhaps preceded by a U.S. invasion of Iran, in order to usher in Armageddon and the second coming of Jesus.

But few have paid attention to the other far-right televangelist McCain embraced last week, Rod Parsley.

You won't hear Parsley rail against Catholics, but you will hear him rail against gays, abortion, Islam, judges, and People For the American Way. And in Ohio, he has built a political machine of partisan "Patriot Pastors" who will turn their churches into get-out-the-vote campaigns.

Another interesting weapon for to "swift boat" John McCain with, no?

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