WITH THE INCREASED AND INCREASING ACCEPTANCE OF PDA'S AND BLACKBERRY-ENABLED CELLULAR PHONES WITH TEXT-MESSAGING AND E-MAIL CAPABILITIES all over the place, there can be no mistaking the fact of thumbs being tired out all too quickly having to type out e-mails, blog entries and text messages on their QWERTY-keyboard PDA's.

May I recommend for your consideration studying (and using) an old telegrapher's trick known as the Phillips Abbreviated Code (after its creator, Walter Polk Phillips, an Associated Press telegrapher who came up with the first version thereof in 1879 to spare telegraphers much time in reducing the number of characters used in sending out commonly-used words where Morse code is involved) when texting or e-mailing messages from your trusty PDA--never mind where Roman characters have replaced Morse code by and large.

The key points in using Phillips Code are perhaps best explained by the following from an online transcription of the last official compilation of, and guide to, Phillips Code to be published in 1925 (and reprinted for the Bicentennial Year in 1976), which are equally worth following among the text-messaging crowd:

Intelligent use of the code is the desideratum for both sender and receiver; and, in this connection, some tried observations are submitted.

1.  To send code at top speed defeats its purpose.  Indeed, mechanical ability seems a negligible factor in moving the report, for the moderately slow sender, of even temper, and precise signals, exites no anger, and, therefore, provakes no breaking.

2.  Code should be well spaced, so that the receiver is required to make no effort in its translation.  Where the receiver is forced to solve a puzzle in a way of improper or badly used code, the context of the story is lost and a break usually follows.

3.  Seldom, if ever, should code be used at the beginning of a sentence; nor should code be used where the coded word or words precede a group of figures.

4.  Code that in itself makes a good English word should not be used in any sentence where the word coded would fit into the sense.

5.  Where two consecutive words in a sentence belong to separate ideas, they should not be contracted into a single combination; e.g., "When the vacancy occurred and the question of filling it was put to him, the governor," etc.; "And the only way to stop it was for the employers and employes to co-operate"; " * * *the nature of it is not known."

6.  The sign "cx" should be freely used, especially for such proper names as also more common English words: "the Glass amendment"; "the Wood report"; and preceding titles indeterminable, as such, from the matter just preceding: "and Immigration Inspectors John Doe and Richard Roe." The signals "i5" and "e5" should no less be neglected.

7.  Following proper names a contraction sometimes is bad: "Representative Henry of the Owen committee"; "Judge Dayton in the Hitchman Coal company case." And, occasionally, a proper name is best coded: "Congressman Henry D. Clayton."

8.  Possessives, when not clearly indicated by the context, should be specified: "The accountants report."  Here, it isn't clear whether "accountants" is nominative plural, possessive singular, or possessive plural.

9.  When the receiver breaks on a coded word, the sender should spell it out, and then repeat the code.

10.   Errors due to an oversight on the part of the sender often are better corrected in a note at the end of the item.  Many typewriters are used without ribbons, and it is difficult for the receiver to locate the place for the correction.

11.  Difficult words and proper names should be sent very slowly, without repetition.  Paradoxical as it is, it isn't the time one makes, but the time one loses that really counts on any circuit.

Which also brings to mind the famous variant of Phillips Code used in railway telegraphy, as follows:

• WIRE: Preference over everything, except 95
• 1: Wait a minute
• 2: Important business
• 3: What time is it?
• 4: Where shall I go ahead?
• 5: Have you business for me?
• 6: I am ready
• 7: Are you ready?
• 8: Close your key; circuit is busy
• 9: Close your key for priority business (wire chief, dispatcher, etc.)
• 10: Keep this circuit closed
• 12: Do you understand?
• 13: I understand
• 14: What is the weather like?
• 15: For you and another to copy
• 17: Lightning here
• 18: What is the trouble?
• 19: Form 19 train order
• 21: Meal stop
• 22: Wire test
• 23: All copy
• 24: Repeat this back
• 25: Busy on another wire
• 26: Put on grand wire
• 27: Priority; very important
• 28: Did you get my writing?
• 29: Private; deliver in sealed envelope
• 30: End of message
• 31: Form 31 train order
• 32: I understand that I am to ...
• 33: Car report; alternately, answer paid for
• 34: Message for all officers
• 35: You may use my signal to answer this
• 37: Diversion; alternately, inform all interested
• 39: Important, with priority on thru wire; alternately, sleeping-car report
• 44: Answer promptly by wire
• 73: Goodbye
• 88: Love and kisses
• 91: Superintendent's signal
• 92: Deliver promptly
• 93: Vice-president's and general manager's signals
• 95: President's signal
• 134: Who is @ the key?

There also happens to be the following Phillips Code abbreviations used for baseball reports as is of note:

• BAS: By a score of ...
• BOB: Base(s) on balls
• BTS: By the score of ...
• ING(S): Inning(s)
• IVC: Invincible
• LOB: Left on base(s)
• NBF: Now batting for ...
• NCF: Now catching for ...
• NPF: Now pitching for ...
• SKO: Score
• UMP(S): Umpire(s)

In any case, fellow textheads, may I suggest studying--and, perhaps, start using--the Phillips Code in your texting to better same time. And your thumbs. And, for that matter, bandwidth. You may be doing yourself a great favour all the while.

Sooo:

see more crazy cat pics

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glitter-graphics.com

18 hours old

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KUDOS TO BRAVE NEW FILMS FOR BRINGING YOUR CORRESPONDENT'S TIMELY ATTENTION to the following video, which is rather revealing for what The Terrible-Tempered Mr. Bang of Indecision 2008 is actually saying--in effect, that he's in solidarity with the Emmanuel Goldstein of the 21st century (as in Usama bin-Laden, never mind His Fraudulency's Great Within perhaps using bin-Laden to whip up fear and loathing, not to mention Islamophobia):

Now: Any questions?

Otherwise, don't come crying to meme. The camera spake for itself.

(Be sure to share this with your friends--responsibly.)

COULD IT BE THAT THE WEATHER MAY FINALLY BE TAKING A TURN TOWARDS MORE NORMAL SPRINGTIME CONDITIONS FOR ONCE here in the Minnwissippi region?

April may be about to segue into May, so it looks obvious that more seasonably sensible weather may be on its way--even with the occasional enforced hiccup known as showers and thunderstorms.

And speaking of serious weather, The Exaggerator extends its sympathies to, and solidarity with, those afflicted by last night's severe weather (including a possible tornado) in Virginia.

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WITH SCOTUS HAVING UPHELD THE RIGHT OF STATES TO MANDATE PHOTO-BEARING IDENTITY AS A REQUISITE TO EXERCISING THE ELECTORAL FRANCHISE "to maintain the integrity of the electoral process," expect plenty of action from the weird and unwholesome element (hiding, more than likely, behind patriotic-sounding "feel-good" names) playing up crude stereotypes to prevent Certain Targeted Groups from voting in Indecision 2008 by preventing their obtaining photo-bearing identity cards as states may require.

Including claims that such identity cards could be used to process information as could be stored in super-secret FBI databanks, to be used against you in case His Fraudulency seeks to unleash the most dangerous brand of fanaticism since the Nazis unleashed Operation Valkyrie in the wake of the botched July 20, 1944 "generals' plot" against Hitler.

As a reminder, boys and girls, interference with the right to vote of any kind is considered a penal offense, with Hate Crimes Enhancements likely if those targeted are National Minorities. And should be reported to law enforcement agencies, not to mention the Voter Protection Project of People for the American Way on freecall 1-866-OUR-VOTE.

Remember: "Silence=acceptance." (However, this doesn't automatically mean also that "depiction=approval," as certain hyperconservative "news portals" want us to believe.)

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ANOTHER REASON NOT TO HOMESCHOOL YOUR CHILDREN,  even if the argument is one of "promoting a Healthy and Proper Moral Compass" based on supposedly Traditional Moral and Familial Values as may really be anything but, if history is to be believed:

Newly-released studies suggest that children given opportunities to participate in day-care and play group schemes from an early age are less likely to develop risk for leukemia than those remaining in the family circle.

No wonder the African proverb about "dit neem 'n dorp om te verhoog 'n kind" may be right, and then some.

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A CLAUSE IN THE CONSUMER PROTECTION ACT IN THE CANADIAN PROVINCE OF QUΙBEC explicitly prohibits any and all forms of advertising targeting children directly; this based on the belief that children cannot be expected to make wise shopping decisions without causing nuisance upon their parents or other adults in a position of authority, confidence and trust vis-a-vis children (foster parents, e.g.)

(In other words, the implication La Belle Province seems to have is that children should have part of their allowance put away @ their school's caisse θtudiante, traditionally associated with the local Caisse Desjardins for the sake of promoting thrift and "provident habits" based on mutual self-help.)

On the other hand, certain Zealots and True Believers of a weird and unwholesome sort (as in racists and white supremacists) want "all right-thinking White Christian families" to "do their racial duty" and "make more babies" for the sake of "racial honour."

The which may be worth thinking about when you see Europe's Funniest Commercial for 2005, made available thanks to YouTube:

Now ... any questions?

=============

MEANWHILE, YOU MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE COME ACROSS THESE APHORISMS IN ONE FORM OR ANOTHER for some 40 years or so, the which happen to have serious relevance in the face of what may be a reemergence of intolerance, xenophobia and bigotry as can easily be sugarcoated by their messengers as "healthy patriot love" as seems to be abroad all the more:

CHILDREN LIVE WHAT THEY LEARN

If a child lives with criticism .... he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility .... he learns to fight.
If a child lives with fear .... he learns to be apprehensive.
If a child lives with jealousy.... he learns to feel guilt.
If a child lives with tolerance .... he learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement .... he learns to be confident.
If a child lives with praise .... he learns to be appreciative.
If a child lives with acceptance .... he learns to love.
If a child lives with approval .... he learns to like himself.
If a child lives with recognition .... he learns that it is good to have a goal.
If a child lives with honesty .... he learns what truth is.
If a child lives with fairness .... he learns justice.
If a child lives with security .... he learns to trust in himself and others.
If a child lives with friendliness .... he learns the world is a nice place in which to live.

FROM TIME TO TIME, WORLDNETDAILY, A SOMEWHAT DISREPUTABLE CONSERVATIVE "NEWS PORTAL" ON THE INFORMATION STUPORBAHN, will raise the highly-sensationalist meme of "Sexpidemic!" to highlight Recent Notorious Incidents of LeTourneauism (as in teacher-student carnal relations) posing Clear and Present Danger to Morals and Decency--all for the sake, obviously, of promoting homeschooling based on the apartheid South African syllabus known as National Christian Education as one with National Salvation.

But it just so happens that we "morally superior" Americans may not have the global monopoly on LeTourneauism, if the following recent "WaiWai" item per the Mainichi Daily News out of Tokyo is to be taken as credible:

Early spring brings a new academic year to Japan and, with all the stresses of graduations and getting used to a new bunch of kids, it can often mean teachers act in ways they wouldn't normally do, frequently with carnal consequences, according to Shukan Taishu (5/7-14).

Take the case of 25-year-old junior high school teacher Emi Yasuoka, who's now embroiled in a steamy relationship with the former head teacher at her school.

"It's only my second year of teaching. Whenever I write something on the blackboard, the kids all throw erasers at my ass or use mirrors to try and look up my skirt. I've cried so many times during class," Yasuoka tells Shukan Taishu, adding that the head teacher transferred to a different school in March was the only person who ever came to her aid. As a sign of gratitude, she took the 44-year-old head teacher out for dinner. When they finished eating, he thanked her for the chance to go on a date with such a beautiful woman.

"When I heard that, I suddenly filled with loneliness and before I knew it, I'd flung my arms around him," she says.

They were soon locked in an even more intimate manner and her partner showed her another reason why he was called the head teacher.

"He flicked his tongue like a bullet on a really sensitive part and I thought something was going to pop out of me. He urged me on, saying, 'Go on, go on, finish.' When I did, something really did start coming out. It was the first time something like that had happened to me," Yasuoka says, adding she's due to meet the teacher again after Golden Week.

Also likely to meet again are elementary school teacher Mie Kanai, 37, and the 32-year-old father of one of her third grade pupils.

"One day while taking a walk beside a river near my apartment, this surfer-looking guy came over and started talking to me. I'd never met him before, but he said he was the father of one of the boys in my class. I was surprised how young he looked," Kanai tells Shukan Taishu.

The father soon showed his juvenile side, however, when he remarked to Kanai that his son had told him his teacher's breasts were bouncy and that the boy had got his assumption right. Kanai says she laughed at the ice-breaking comment. The pair became friends and went out drinking, but the teacher took in a little too much. One thing led to another, and the pair began a relationship.

"I realize it wasn't good, but it had been so long since I'd been with a man -- three years, in fact," she says. "Once I'd felt his touch, I just couldn't hold back."

There was no holding back from Meika Matsushima, either. The 34-year-old high school piano teacher sought refuge in the classroom from her sexless marriage to a 39-year-old pen pushing government bureaucrat.

"Sex with my husband was always the same. It's boring. Honestly, I'd rather do myself than be with my husband," she says, adding that she frequently fantasized about the boys in her classroom.

Matsushima bordered on the criminal with one of her former students she was employed to give private lessons as he attempted to get into a top music college. They ended up alone one day and his remark that she resembled a popular actress saw Matsushima transform her fantasy into a reality. She was soon naked on all fours on a bed with the teen's attentions taken from his piano to his organ.

"It was like being in a dream land," the seductress tells Shukan Taishu. "It was an incredible thrill to be making love to a former student. It was way beyond anything I could have fantasized about."

(Note, readers, that the issue cited as source material for this item is a double issue; this because of the Golden Week extended holiday period across Japan.)

THOSE SCIONS OF THE RELIGIOPOLITICAL RIGHT FOREVER PLAYING THAT ANNOYING SINGSONG MEME OF "CHRISTIAN PERSECUTION! CHRISTIAN PERSECUTION!" seem to think that the "morally superior" United States has the Exclusive Global Monopoly on rights to use the said meme as a "winning of hearts and minds" tool.

Unfortunately, they have yet to ponder the case of the Japanese playing the same pathetic meme, if the following recent "WaiWai" item per the Mainichi Daily News is to be taken as credible, unlike much of the Religiopolitical Right's platitude-laden screeds on this non-issue:

Japanese Christian relics - including the Holy Grail - have been brutally demolished "by a government no better than a terrorist organization," outraged Christian activists tell Shukan Asahi (4/18).

Pork barrel projects in the Amagusa district of Kumamoto Prefecture known for its strong links to feudal era Christianity and the greatest Christian rebellion this country has known have destroyed some of the religion's most prized artifacts.

"The Amagusa Kurishitankan (Christian Building) was demolished as part of a restoration project funded by the special road maintenance taxes and the Christians' Holy Grail was obliterated," Christian activist and Amagusa citizens' ombudsman Osamu Nakata tells Shukan Asahi. "We want to spread this message worldwide through the Vatican, the Pope and foreign media."

Demolition of the building housing examples of Amagusa's valuable Christian heritage took place in January this year. The work was part of about ₯800 million the Ministry of Land, Infrastructure, Transport and Tourism will devote to projects in about 1,300 districts across Japan, including Amagusa, over a four-year period. The demolition went ahead despite not having the required local residents' permission.

"The government said the Kurishitankan had become too old and they would re-build it, so it had to come down. But tests on the building's age showed no problem with its durability," Nakata says. "They've spent ₯2.7 billion building white elephants in Amagusa. It's a waste of taxpayers' money."

Amagusa was a center for the kakure kurishitan, the "hidden Christians" who kept their religion a secret through fears of persecution when the belief was outlawed for centuries during Japan's feudal era. Many apparently regarded the Christian museum as their "Holy Grail."

"Christians across the globe who saw the photos of the destroyed Holy Grail would regard the image as sacrilegious," Nakata tells Shukan Asahi. "There are some people who point to the Taliban destroying the historical Buddhist relics at Afghanistan's Bamiyan and say the Japanese government operates at the same level as a terrorist organization."

In June last year, Amagusa residents lodged an official protest with the ministry on what was then the planned demolition of the museum and demanded a thorough investigation into the project. Their pleas were ignored.Overseeing the ministry, meanwhile, was Transport Minister Tetsuzo Fuyushiba, a member of the ruling coalition's junior party Komeito, which, of course, is backed by the powerful Buddhist organization Soka Gakkai.

Fuyushiba ignored requests to reply directly about the Christians' claims, but a Transport Ministry spokesman talked to the weekly instead.

"The Holy Grail wasn't mentioned in the maintenance plans," the mouthpiece tells Shukan Asahi. "So we're not really in a position to answer any questions."

(But then again, Your Correspondent has to wonder if there are those in the Religiopolitical Right who associate themselves with the Unregistered Church Movement, itself associated with the Extreme Right by virtue of its suggesting that churches should be exempt from all form and fashion of "undue and unnecessary regulatory burden.")