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READER, I HOPE YOU CAN BEAR WITH ME THE FACT OF MY LAUNCHING WHAT WILL BE AN OCCASIONAL (@ BEST) FEATURE HERE IN THIS WEBLOG when it comes to Saturday live postings by Your Correspondent.

This feature will be what I call "The Blogger's Saturday Scratchpad," basically in the "Reporters' Notebook" vein of things; i.e., such will offer up some insights into Your Correspondent and how he goes about making The Exaggerator the blog that am, as it were.

As in explaining how he comes up with material to fill this space for your enlightenment and edification, never mind where some among the Religiopolitical Right see the two as Loathsome Social Diseases in the vein of "schizophrenic germs" or outright insanity.

As in what goes through his thought-processes as inspires material for these items.

And the general philosophy behind this weblog.

Whose name and stylee, I will have you know, was indirectly inspired by the early 1990's Scooy-Doo prequel series A Pup Named Scooby-Doo, reruns of which may be seen occasionally on Cartoon Network or its sister "classics" channel, Boomerang--more specifically, the National Exaggerator supermarket tabloid which an uncle of Freddie Jones worked on, or so the show's story line had it (and which was frequently referenced in episodes).

In planning The Exaggerator as essentially picking up where my former blog, the daily phosdex, left off, I had designs on styling this blog as the "Intergalactic Exaggerator," considering the global and, in a way, universal nature of the Information Stuporbahn. Unfortunately, though, BlogDrive has a cap of 14 characters on blog names so hosted, so I settled on simply The Exaggerator. Which, come to think of it, is a rather fitting name for a satirically-oriented weblog of my own creation.

(Whether you would concur or no is up to you; to that end, I would welcome your comments in the relevant quarter.)

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MEANWHILE, DOWN IN CALEDONIA, MINNESOTA, SOME 40 MILE SOUTH OF WINONA AS THE PROVERBIAL CROW FLIETH, Motherdear (86 going on 87, G-d willing) resides in her state of widowhood since my father passed away 15 years ago Tuesday. And with her limited income and general condition, she tries doing her best to keep going though there are transient recurrences of things like surgical-scar pain coming back to haunt her.

Not to mention having a whole catalogue of aches and pain common to the elderly, including rheumatoid arthritis ... diverticulosis ... Type II diabetes ... lower-back pain (especially so scarring from surgery a few years back) ... having to use cane or walker to help in getting around (credit that to hip-replacement surgery a few years back, and follow-on physical therapy as didn't quite go as well as expected) ... and a general sense of tiredness and malaise as the day wears on into night.

As if that weren't enough, she complains of ill-fitting hearing aids to the extent that she has to turn the TV up to maximum volume just to catch every word, every phrase, every nuance thereof, especially so Jeopardy! and Wheel of Fortune, which "keeps her alert," as she likes phrasing it. (She still relies on antennæ to receive FreeVee, and would rather wait until the last minute before making the transition to digital transmission next February.)

She can get to be rather irritable and nervous @ times, and it seems that I must have picked that up from her when things get frustratingly slower than the proverbial molasses in January going uphill--especially with a cordless phone she has that has this tendency for getting wonky on her when she least expects it, requiring callers to speak a little louder so she can understand it. Or, in extreme cases (e.g., the battery going dead), moving the conversation to a corded phone in her bedroom.

One thing she doesn't want is a power wheelchair, even if it would help her in getting around town.

But she does have Home Health Aides and Public Health Nurses calling on her every weekday save Wednesdays to help her out with checking up on her condition, getting simple chores done and fixing rather plain meals considering her limited income.

All in all, she's doing the best she can against the day that she's called to her final rest. (By her own admission, some of her relatives from back in Cavalier County, North Dakota have seen their 100th birthdays, and then some.)

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IN ANY CASE, I HOPE THIS HAS GIVEN YOU A "TASTER," SO TO SPEAK, OF WHAT YOU CAN EXPECT TO FIND here in The Blogger's Saturday Scratchpad during its sporadic appearences in this space.

Such depending on my own state of mind and the general state of the world; please understand this in advance.

Your comments are always welcome and appreciated. 

WEIRD AND UNWHOLESOME RELIGIOPOLITICAL ELEMENTS HOMOPHOBIC JUST LOVE TO USE BOYCOTTS, USUALLY STARTING AS "NAME-AND-SHAME" PROPAGANDA, to take issue with such specimens of "morally superior" free-market capitalism with American characteristics suspected of "supporting the homosexual agenda."

And we all know the inevitable bromide- and platitude-filled routine about such "corrupting Traditional Moral Values" and "conspiring to undermine our traditional soverignty and soverign identity," as if same was supposedly conditioned upon "Christian" hatred and bigotry.

Currently, Your Correspondent understands, the so-called "American Family Association" is urging its hard-wired faithful of Podunk Center, Doo Wah Diddy and the Park & Flush Trailer Park to boycott McDonald's for--you guessed it--"supporting the homosexual agenda."

And you have to wonder how they'd react to the following highly-anecdotal news item (per the "WaiWai" department of Japan's Mainichi Daily News, know) were such an instance to occur in the "clean, wholesome and morally-superior" confines of, say, Die Bransoner Muzikschaukultur:

McDonald's customers suspected something amiss when one guy pulled out his whopper. They knew for sure when he began partaking of fur burger. The upshot was four people trying to make an adult movie in a fast food outlet ended up getting arrested, says Friday (5/2).

Arrested in the case earlier this month for indecent exposure and obstruction of business were Kunikazu Ishii, 52, the director, Nahoko Shimada, 21, an actress and dental nurse, and actors Yuya Ochiai, 29, and Makoto Nishizumi.

Saitama Prefectural Police say the four spent about 30 minutes one afternoon in January this year filming an adult movie in the McDonald's Higashi Matsuyama Itoyokado outlet in Higashi Matsuyama, Saitama Prefecture. They were allegedly caught after another customer called the police and told cops what was supposedly going on.

"(Shimada) came into the restaurant holding hands with Ochiai. But Ochiai didn't look the type good enough to pick up a woman like her, so I thought something fishy was going on," a customer in the store at the time of the incident tells Friday. "It was even more suspicious because there was one young woman surrounded by all those much older guys."

The group apparently took up a corner counter not easily visible to serving staff and went about their purportedly pornographic proclivities.

Ochiai apparently spent the time with his hands up Shimada's skirt as he displayed his deft handiwork, Ishii did the filming and Nishizumi acted as a barrier and barked out orders to participants--so the cops say, anyway.

When police did arrive on the scene, the group had allegedly been filming inside the restaurant for about half an hour. Each of the four suspects was led away individually and taken to a nearby cop station in a different patrol car.

Adult movie experts say the arrests are a sign of the times.

"Filming that way is basically like screaming out to the cops: 'Hey, come and arrest me,'" an industry insider tells Friday.

An adult movie production company associate adds his two bits.

"They probably did something that stupid because they wanted to cut production costs," the associate says.

"Putting the actress's wages aside, 10 years ago most cheap adult movies had a budget of about ¥1 million, but now that figure is more likely to be ¥500,000 or, in really bad cases, only around ¥300,000. If you've only got ¥300,000 to work with, there'll be no room to book a studio or hotel room once you've rented the filming equipment and paid the guys' wages. So that's probably why they filmed in the fast food restaurant."

Most adult movie actresses are usually the highest paid workers on each flick. Though that was likely to have been the case with this movie, too, starlet Shimada was hardly likely to have been raking in big bucks (at least in cash terms).

"Women acting in these cheap adult flicks usually get paid around ¥70,000 per movie, but some may only get as little as ¥20,000. Nearly all the women who act in these kinds of movies have a real job and do it as a sideline. There are nurses, stage actresses and members of the Self-Defense Forces," the associate tells Friday.

"Shimada's main job was a dental nurse. She only started appearing in a few adult movies from December last year, so she's basically a complete amateur. Now she's been arrested, her chosen part-time profession has ended up costing her quite a lot."

(From what I understand, Friday, the magazine cited as source material, is a "true crime" weekly in a rather crude and sensationalised vein--the sort that hyperconservative Zealots and True Believers would love to see dumped upon culturally-deprived environments for the sake of pacifying the vulnerable and marginalised with cheap and cheerful prolefeed.

(As for a close North American counterpart to Friday in terms of concept, about the closest I could think of is the Québecois weekly tabloid Photo-Police, incorporating the long-established Allo-Police in its sensationalised depictions of crime, scandal, and the obligatory appeals to latent racism and xenophobia common in the Québecoise journalistic genre known as the presse jaune--"yellow press," literally--as has long been heavy on sensationalism laced with cheesecake.)

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WITH THE SOCIOECONOMIC SITUATION IN GENERAL NOT VERY GOOD FOR ESPECIALLY VULNERABLE AND UNSKILLED WORKERS, in particular disabled such as are limited to sheltered workshops for their employment opportunities (or reasonable facsimilies thereof), there's all the more likelihood for sheltered workshop clients to be all the more afraid of where to turn next.

Especially after management of same addresses the clients in an "urgent" meeting prior to work assignments being given one day to address the situation as it affects said workshops--the points of which are likely to include the following:

1. That the information about to be given must be kept in utmost secrecy and discretion "to avoid possible misunderstanding" in the community; the better "to protect public trust and confidence" in what's expected to be seen all along as an Essential or Protected Agency.
2. Being dependent as we are on contract and subcontract work for the most part, the companies we contract with may be all the more unlikely to send us work over the coming weeks due to circumstances beyond its direct control.
3. As we receive various subsidies and grants from the government and foundations to cover costs, such could be all the more limited or severely reduced--even eliminated altogether--over the coming weeks. What's more, such grants and subsidies prohibit us from laying off workers in case work is unavailable or otherwise severely limited.
4. Our access to credit could be seriously limited all the more, especially if our suppliers and contractors require advance payment in cash before materials can be released. And even then, our cash reserves are more than likely limited @ this time to even meet payrolls over the summer.
5. There exists also the possibility for where our financial situation may be in serious trouble, even if we had work available to keep you busy. Which makes it even more difficult for us to obtain credit without resorting to shady and devious channels, let alone the subsidies and grants we have traditionally relied on.
6. Just one careless slip of the tongue, especially if it winds up in the newspapers or on certain blogs, could be enough for us to lose precious contract or subcontract work, and especially so now with the economy being what it is. Hence, all the more need for keeping quiet @ this time.
7. Your silence about these rather delicate circumstances is all the more necessary if we are to maintain the highest confidence and trust which the community is expecting of us. Not to mention your expected to be role models for the disabled trying to get ahead in this world.
8. You should know your proper place in the greater scheme of things, especially now more than ever. In other words, be all the more aware that you have no real power in the scheme of things; that belongs to those "entitled as of right" by the Unwritten Law.
9. Be aware, too, that the Unwritten Law--as in habit, custom and tradition--takes priority over the Written Law; the courts know this for a fact, so understand this now.
10. Any of you who dares speak out about what we are facing in these difficult times should expect to suffer the consequences--especially so loss of not only your job, but also being able to find jobs and even your eligibility for welfare benefits. "The actions of one wind up hurting us all."
11. Worse yet, there's also the possibility that we could be left with no choice but to be shut down, leaving you on the streets without jobs and wasting time needlessly on the streets; this we cannot allow as a matter of principle as much as conscience.
12. Hence, you are urged to cooperate with us in these difficult and trying times; only by your cooperating and playing along with us can things actually start to get better for all.

Likely to be followed by all manner of discussion about ways to kill time in case work becomes unavailable or severely limited, out of formality for continued grant and subsidy eligibility. Which is likely to include a number of options having nothing to do with the sheltered workshop's mission of training and preening disabled persons for employment in the community, knowing all along that they're deliberately holding back as many disabled workers from the competitive job market just to maximise subsidy payments--which may be nothing short of serious fraud to be kept from the community's prying eyes as much as those of the blogosphere @ all costs, and by the inevitable "whatever means necessary."

But then again: Is sheltered workshop management deliberately unaware of the likelihood that clients may likely suffer emotional uncertainty all the more because of such comments as above?

And what's more, I don't think welfare agencies are likely to accept the bromide about "need for emotional well-being" requiring continued employment in the sheltered-workshop milieu, what with its unpredictable work assignments from day to day (excused officially as "necessary to developing a comprehensive and well-rounded job experience" once they're considered fit--if @ all--for finding work in the community) translating into unstable paycheques, especially where "industrial standards" (piecerate) pay scales are used. And especially so under current socioeconomic circumstances.

Is this any way to help disabled people who may not exactly be fit for employment in the first place prepare for employment? 

YOUR CORRESPONDENT WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGISE @ THIS TIME FOR ANY DELAY IN YOUR SEEING THIS ITEM BEING POSTED, owing, for the most part, to the following:

• Installation and download of new anti-viral software (and then some--as in dealing against not just viruses, but worms, hackers, Trojan horses, malware, spam, "phishing/spoofing/social engineering" scams, keyloggers and dodgy websites connected with the preceding); and
• Changing the side links for Amazon.com, Amazon.ca and Amazon.co.uk to search boxes in the online-shopping area; the better, hopefully, to improve download time cf. Javascript-type applications.

And speaking of anti-viral software, such may want to be worth checking for possible updates and installation. And which you can buy online, right here, right now, helping Your Correspondent in the process:

(Just make sure you know where you are to make sure you're getting the approriate country-specific version of the software you want.)

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NO WONDER THE GOP'S SUPER-SECRET "DIRTY TRICKS" SQUADRON IS ESPECIALLY INTERESTED IN ZIMBABWE'S RUNNING PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION MORASS, what with the opposition Movement for Democratic Change (MDC) claiming that the date announced for the Presidential runoff is illegal by deliberate design; the better to allow goon squads with known connexions to the established ZANU-PF party of Robert Mugabe to conduct intimidation and harrassment campaigns against MDC supporters, real or imagined.

And drooling in envious glee @ reports of Extreme Ultraviolence emerging from The Zimbabwean Underground--even as the Zimbabwean Central Bank announces the issue of a new Z$500,000 bank note which, in real terms, is worth but US$2 @ "official" exchange rates.

Not to mention an official inflation rate of some 160,000% besides.

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ANOTHER "BIN-LADEN TAPE" SURFACED ON THE OVERNIGHT, IF ONLY "TO KEEP PEOPLE SCARED" AND WHIP UP SIMPLE PATRIOTIC FEELINGS all the more in service to the ur-RAHOWA Against International Terrorism.

Note where "bin-Laden Tape" is in quotes, inasmuch as suspicions have emerged in versions thereof issued some months after those connected with the Unfortunate Events of 9/11 as to the authenticity thereof, raising some to wonder if the CIA is really fabricating such for the sake of "national unity" vis-a-vis the ongoing quagmire.

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THIS AIN'T NO WAY TO TREAT WAR VETERANS SERVING IN THE AFOREMENTIONED UR-RAHOWA in the first place, as per the St. Paul Pioneer Press:

Army Sgt. Aeren Nauman served on active duty for nearly two years, part of that time in Iraq, and even stood to recite the Infantryman's Creed at a memorial service for a fallen comrade.

But when he decided to buy a home on his return to the Twin Cities last fall, he found his credit ruined by identity theft.

The alleged thief: his dad.

"What kind of dad is this?" asked Hennepin County Attorney Mike Freeman after his office charged the father, Leonard Gus Nauman, 61, of Long Lake.

"He waits until his kid is overseas; he creates these forged powers of attorney, creates these new bank accounts and takes the money out of the accounts and leaves his son in deep doo-doo. I'm a veteran, and I'm appalled that any veteran would have to go through this."

The elder Nauman was charged with five counts of forgery, four counts of identity theft and four counts of swindling.

All are felonies, and the most serious — identity theft — carry a maximum penalty of 20 years in prison and a $100,000 fine.

The bank accounts Nauman allegedly set up in his son's name were overdrawn by more than $21,000.

A police investigator said that when the son asked about the accounts, the elder Nauman admitted opening them. But, the investigator said, the father said he did it to "boost" his son's credit score.

"When asked where the money went, defendant stated that he had used the money to pay unspecified bills," Wayzata police Lt. Michael Murphy wrote in the affidavit accompanying the criminal complaint.

Neither Nauman could be reached for comment. The elder Nauman was not in custody, and no date had been set for his first court appearance.

Police said Nauman opened the accounts, used them to obtain lines of credit, got money on that credit and deposited it in a business account.

It appears the money was used to pay for a mortgage installment, utilities, teeth cleaning, groceries, liquor and some retail purchases, Murphy said.

Murphy said the father refused to be questioned by police.

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Wayzata police began investigating the case in August when Aeren Nauman, 28, of St. Paul, freshly returned from duty with the 1st Brigade Combat Team of the 34th Infantry Division of the Army National Guard, was looking to buy a home.

"He's at a mortgage place, thinking about getting a house," said Murphy. "That's when he discovered there'd been a significant dip in his credit rating between March of '07 and August of '07. In exploring it, he sees that he now has debt to Wells Fargo Bank and Bremer Bank."

In particular, a Wells Fargo account in his name had an outstanding balance of $12,125. A Bremer account had an outstanding balance of $9,100. Aeren Nauman said he knew nothing of the accounts.

He went to the banks and found his father had opened the accounts using letters that granted him power of attorney, Murphy said. A power-of-attorney certificate gives a person authority to act on behalf of another person.

Aeren Nauman said he never signed the power-of-attorney documents and that his father forged them.

"So then he begins to look into that and eventually goes back to his dad and decides he's probably been swindled," Murphy said.

In an affidavit accompanying a request to search bank records last month, Murphy said the son confronted his father over the accounts Aug. 23 at the Long Lake home of his father's girlfriend.

The father "reported opening the accounts without his son's knowledge or permission to boost Aeren Nauman's credit score," Murphy wrote. When the son asked the father what happened to the money, "his father responded that the funds were used to pay unspecified bills."

After opening the accounts, Leonard Nauman allegedly applied for and got lines of credit. He withdrew money on credit and then deposited it into the account of a business called Ten Mile Investments. State records list Nauman as an officer of the limited-liability company, which is owned by his girlfriend, Mary Ann Saindon, 55.

She could not be reached for comment, and officials said they weren't considering charges against her.

glitter-graphics.com

REV. JOHN HAGEE, CO-"SPIRITUAL ADVISOR" TO THE TERRIBLE-TEMPERED MR. BANG OF INDECISION 2008, otherwise known as John McCain, takes that fine art of conservative propaganda of the post hoc, ergo propter hoc school to a new and exciting low with these remarks in video form (hat tip to Brave New Films and Right Wing Watch):

Which, interestingly enough, raises the question of whether the "economic reasons" angle (as in defending and maintaining a labour-intensive, Luddite-model socioeconomic paradigm based on free-market capitalism as Great White Father) may likely be the next cheap bromide and patsy anti-abortion Zealots and True Believers will want to invoke in defence of their articles of faith.

Just like Nicolæ Ceauçescu's Communist regime in Romania--only they don't want to acknowledge the interconnexion with Ceauçescu tacitly.