WITH THE STROKE OF HIS FRAUDULENCY'S PEN JUST YESTERDAY, Americans entitled to collect the special advance on 2008 tax refunds (otherwise known as tax rebates designed to protect socioeconomic cohesion and stability) will be given what amounts to a Government mandate to engage in wasteful, frivolous and unnecessary consumer spending orgies once the cheques arrive sometime before the Memorial Day long weekend.

In particular, the kind having no regard for the practical or utilitarian (especially so among the Lower Classes which His Fraudulency's Great Within expects to "benefit" from these advances on refunds all the more).

Might I suggest, for one, having said rebates put to practical use--as in a donation to reduce the National Debt, now $9 trillion and climbing (and being kept all the more so "for political reasons," but the Great Within doesn't want you to know this as fact, let alone Fox Noise).

*************

BECAUSE "IT'S A SMALL WORLD, AFTER ALL," HERE'S SOMETHING WE "MORALLY SUPERIOR" AMERICANS CAN IDENTIFY WITH:

The BBC's Urdu Service commissioned a public-opinion survey of 1,476 representative Pakistanis nearly a month ago, and found some rather interesting opinions among the Pakistanis as:

• 64% say the resignation of President Perez Musharaf would help improve the general stability of Pakistan;
• 49% think Musharaf's "election" in November was a sham and should be deemed null and void;
• 72% disapproved of President Musharaf's job performance in general;
• 44% believe that the upcoming Parliamentary elections will be free, fair and transparent; and
• 51% are optimistic that conditions could improve six months on.

Now, if the same general set of questions were asked of the Americans (with the necessary changes in questions), you could expect the GOP's propaganda machine to turn rather ballisto to the point of paranoid if the results turn out pretty much as in Pakistan's case.

*************

WHO AMONG THOSE IN POSITIONS OF CONFIDENCE AND TRUST ON THE RELIGIOPOLITICAL RIGHT will be the next to get caught in the Lindbergh Terminal Tap Dance?

Sen. Larry Craig (GOP/ID), perhaps its most infamous victim from last summer's entrapment arrest, was reprimanded by the Senate Ethics Committee for what it called "improper conduct which has reflected discreditably on the Senate."

As the Associated Press reportage on the reprimand adds:

The six members of the committee—three Democrats and three Republicans—told Craig they believed he "committed the offense to which you pled guilty" and that "you entered your plea knowingly, voluntarily and intelligently."

The panel said Craig only tried to remove his guilty plea after his attempts to avoid public disclosure had failed.

"Your claims to the court ... to the effect that your guilty plea resulted from improper pressure or coercion, or that you did not, as a legal matter, know what you were doing when you pled guilty do not appear credible," the letter said.

The panel also said Craig should have received permission from the ethics panel before using campaign funds to pay his legal bills. Craig, who is not running for re-election, has spent more than $213,000 in campaign money for legal expense and public relations work in the wake of his arrest and conviction last summer.

The committee said it had reached no conclusion about whether use of campaign funds was proper, but it said "it is clear that you never sought the committee's approval, as required," to use the money for legal expenses.

Any future use of campaign money for legal bills will be seen as "demonstrating your continuing disregard of ethics requirements," the ethics committee wrote in its three-page letter.

The panel also admonished Craig for showing the arresting officer a business card that identified him as a U.S. senator. Craig has been reported to have told the officer at the time, "What do you think about that?"

The committee wrote, "You knew or should have known that a reasonable person in the position of the arresting officer could view your action and statement as an improper attempt by you to use your position and status ... to receive special and favorable treatment."

Your Correspondent would certainly love to hear of where Rev. Fred "G-d Hates F***" Phelps or GOP Presidential wannabe Mike Huckabee, among other specimens of religiopolitical homophobia claiming openly to be acting in defence of "Traditional Moral and Family Values," gets caught in that Lindbergh Terminal Tap Dance.

And unwittingly, never mind their use of the same "wide stance" patsy Sen. Craig tried to use as a "get out of jail" card.

=============

IF YOU'RE NOT FAMILIAR WITH MINNEAPOLIS-ST. PAUL INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT (MSP), as is @ the heart of this item, the Lindbergh Terminal is their facility for domestic and North American flights.

Its counterpart for international flights and charters is the Humphrey Terminal, about a mile to the southwest.

Both Lindbergh and Humphrey Terminals have free shuttle connexions on Metro Transit's light-rail line between downtown Minneapolis and the Mall of America via Ft. Snelling and the VA Medical Centre Minneapolis.

*************

IF YOU FIND IT RATHER DIFFICULT TO KEEP IN TOUCH WITH YOUR PARENTAL UNITS, imagine how Japanese Crown Prince Naruhito feels when he's been advised by the Imperial Household Agency to spend more time with his parents, Emperor Akihito and Empress Michiko.

As the BBC explains:

Japan's crown prince has been told by the bureaucrat who runs the Imperial Household to visit his parents, the emperor and empress, more often.

The Grand Steward of the Imperial Household Agency, Shingo Haketa, used a news conference to reveal his unusually frank advice for the Crown Prince.

A year ago the emperor mentioned that he had not had many opportunities to meet his granddaughter, Princess Aiko.

Crown Prince Naruhito responded that he would try harder.

Mr Haketa's latest announcement was unusual, although perhaps not surprising.

He revealed that there was still a problem, and that he had taken the crown prince and his family to task for not visiting his parents often enough.

He said he had raised the issue with the crown prince on several occasions.

Now he has gone public with his criticism.

Whispers

So little information about the imperial family is released here that an announcement like this always causes a stir.

Japan's imperial household is portrayed in the gossip columns and society pages as a rigid, traditional institution.

The emperor and his family, it is whispered, are told what to do and when to do it by courtiers determined to preserve the majesty of the institution.

The crown prince's wife, Princess Masako is ill, and cannot carry out royal duties.

The illness is thought to have been caused by the strain of adapting to the strict rules imposed by her minders in the palace since she married into the imperial family.

Now there will be even more pressure on her and her husband. And when their next news conference comes around, you can be sure they will be asked just how often they take tea with the emperor.

*************

THE ARROGANT EGO TRIP OF WORLDNETDAILY, a conservative-leaning "news" portal notorious for its well-documented feast of distortion, "spin," misinformation and exaggeration, seems set to become unwound.

Witness the following statement of WorldNetDaily, as quoted by ConWebWatch, announcing out-of-court settlement of libel, defamation and malicious prosecution charges in a case they were claiming would decide the future of investigative journalism:

A lawsuit for libel, defamation, false light and conspiracy was filed by Clark Jones of Savannah, Tennessee against WorldNetDaily.com, Tony Hays and Charles H. Thompson II arising out of a press release issued by WorldNetDaily.com on September 18, 2000, and articles dated September 20, October 8, November 24 and December 5, 2000, written by Tony Hays and Charles H. Thompson, II, posted on WorldNetDaily.com's website.

The original news release by WorldNetDaily.com of September 18, 2000, and the article by Hays and Thompson of September 20, 2000, contained statements attributed to named sources, which statements cast Clark Jones in a light which, if untrue, defamed him by asserting that the named persons said that he had interfered with a criminal investigation, had been a "subject" of a criminal investigation, was listed on law enforcement computers as a "dope dealer," and implied that he had ties to others involved in alleged criminal activity. These statements were repeated in the subsequently written articles and funds solicitations posted on WorldNetDaily.com's website. Clark Jones emphatically denied the truth of these statements, denied any criminal activity and called upon the publisher and authors to retract them.

Discovery has revealed to WorldNetDaily.com that no witness verifies the truth of what the witnesses are reported by authors to have stated. Additionally, no document has been discovered that provides any verification that the statements written were true.

Factual discovery in the litigation and response from Freedom of Information Act requests to law enforcement agencies confirm Clark Jones' assertion that his name has never been on law enforcement computers, that he has not been the subject of any criminal investigation nor has he interfered with any investigation as stated in the articles. Discovery has also revealed that the sources named in the publications have stated under oath that statements attributed to them in the articles were either not made by them, were misquoted by the authors, were misconstrued, or the statements were taken out of context.

WorldNetDaily.com and its editors never intended any harm to Clark Jones and regret whatever harm occurred. WorldNetDaily.com has no verified information by which to question Mr. Jones' honesty and integrity, and having met him, has no claim or reason to question his honesty and integrity. WorldNetDaily.com wishes him well.

(The suit referenced was settled out of court for undisclosed and confidential terms.)

But then again, as ConWebWatch notes:

This is yet another black eye for WND's reporting. It retracted two articles in 2005 for making false claims and has a long history of shoddy journalism.

The funny thing is that at the end of the article, it links to the donation page to WND's legal defense fund, which states that "WND has never lost such a lawsuit." Time to update that, guys.

THE WAY HIGH GAS PRICES HAVE BEEN SEEN AS A CLEAR AND PRESENT THREAT TO MORALS, DECENCY AND COMMON SENSE in post-9/11 America--let alone the "antient and pecuilar soverignty and soverign identity" thereof--have led @ least one Congressman to suggest resorting to the Strategic Petroleum Reserve to increase the supply of cheap gasoline, diesel fuel and propane within measurable distance.

That Congressman is Rep. Ron Kind (D/WI), who backs up the suggestion with evidence that the Federal Government conspired to take numerous refineries out of production (and pay their owners accordingly) following Hurricane Katrina in 2005 to "stabilise prices" while increasing consignments of refined fuels for the Reserve.

Which may appear to be all the more crucial considering recent threats by Venezuelan majordomo Hugo Chavez to cut off all crude oil imports to the United States in case ExxonMobil files legal action vis-a-vis the amount and quality of compensation received from the Venezuelan State for the nationalisation of their oilfields.

Likely to be followed by a reprise of Pat "700 Club" Robertson's rather tactless suggestion to the CIA of killing off Chavez, and excusing such as necessary for G-d, Country and Cheap Gasoline.

*************

SO MUCH FOR EVANGELICAL (READ: FUNDAMENTALIST OR PRIMITIVE) CHRISTIANS BEING LIKELY TO SUPPORT REPUBLICAN CANDIDATES all the more in Indecision 2008.

Think Progress had the following to say the other day as is worth note @ this time:

Throughout the primary campaign, Faith in Public Life has noted that exit polls have failed to ask Democratic voters if they are Evangelicals, while consistently asking the question of Republicans. On Feb. 5, the group took action into its own hands, commissioning exit polls in Tennessee and Missouri, which found that "one in three white evangelical voters in Missouri and Tennessee participated in Democratic primaries." The group's exit polls also found that "evangelical voters want a broader agenda that goes beyond abortion and same-sex marriage."

After all, Your Correspondent has long been of the opine that the Pseudoreligiopolitical Right has been paying unhealthy attention for way too long on what are essentially "junk food" issues like abortion, same-sex marriage and "indecency" in film and television. And not paying enough on "nutritious" issues that really matter, such as the economy's effects on the socioeconomically vulnerable, the harm posed by capitalism with American characteristics upon said vulnerable of society, the environment, and suchlike.

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COME TO THINK OF IT, "JUNK FOOD" ISSUES AND "NEWS" (AS IN PROLEFEED, FOR WANT OF A BETTER TERM) are a pet staple of the conservative propaganda machine, what with their obvious targeting of the poor, undereducated or homeschooled and easily-influenced of the community.

Especially when obscure or otherwise insignificant news stories are embellished to the point of bombastic exaggeration, consistent with the Josef Goebbels "big lie" philosophy:

If a small lie can be made big enough, and can be repeated frequently enough, within two weeks, the public will be expected to accept the lie as fact.

The Nazi regime's Minister of Propaganda and Enlightenment would no doubt be proud that his "big lie" ideal lives on in American conservative media. So would, methinks, Julius Streicher, publisher of the infamous anti-Semitic tabloid weekly Der Sturmer, whose editorial philosophy emphasised simple, easily-understood language and concepts which only served to heighten the extent of anti-Semitic depravity to the point where anti-Semitism was fully ingrained in the German national psyche--and served only to worsen the depravity of The Holocaust.

For which Herr Streicher was named among the several co-defendents in the Nuremburg War Crimes Trials in 1945-46 from the highest echelons of the Nazi regime charged with Crimes Against Humanity--and for which he was among such sentenced to death by hanging.

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YOUR CORRESPONDENT WOULD LIKE TO REMIND THE JOHN McCAIN PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN, and its Zealots and True Believers, of his rather tactless remarks from last fall where Sen. McCain called the United States "a Christian Nation."

And to what extent he still supports same, or whether he now disclaims responsibility therefor.

*************

HIS FRAUDULENCY'S GREAT WITHIN MUST PROBABLY BE SEEING DOLLAR SIGNS GALORE IN THEIR EYES when they picture the opportunities galore in the Fiscal Year 2009 budget for the "complete and final" privatisation of such agencies, institutions and schemes deemed "non-essential" or otherwise "unlikely to continue generating taxpayer value" under current conditions.

Especially so Social Security, Medicare/Medicaid, Amtrak and suchlike.

But before you have any delusions of grandeur about profiting from such massive corporatisations His Fraudulency must secretly have in mind (and yet is hesitant to openly acknowledge as much), you need to consider the possibility that such "privatisation" is more than likely to be rigged or manipulated to the point of such being on a par with the now-discredited concept of "spoils," whereby the ilk of corrupt or otherwise weird and unwholesome specimens of die Maschienpolitik reward close droogs for Good and Loyal Service by way of appointment to the likes of what are best described as "fake-work" positions.

As in the mandatory "competitive bidding" procedures being seen as "merely a formality" open to deliberate manipulation and perversion, not to mention all manner of tricks and strategems to avoid scandal.

Let alone the formality of public notice being ignored in any "signing statements" to Executive Orders which His Fraudulency will likely issue to authorise such denationalisation, thereby opening the door to "spoils" being used all the more. Same favouring especially loyal supporters all the more to rank-and-file enterpreneurs, invoking all form and fashion of platitudes and patsies lacking credibility.

Not to mention the likelihood of such being brought about while His Fraudulency was non compos mentis, technically rendering null and void any authorisations to those ends.

The likelihood of which needs to be brought before Congress.

Write Your Congressman.

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AND IF THERE'S ONE UNLIKELY ARTICLE OF FAITH WHICH THE CONSERVATIVE ELEMENT HOLDS DEAR above all else when it comes to the "moral superiority" of free-market capitalism with American characteristics requiring the utmost of contempt for the Lower Classes, it would have to be that which expects to achieve, "completely and finally," a nil rate of unemployment consistent with free-market capitalistic principles and disciplines.

Let's not forget where Communist regimes were forever boasting of having nil unemployment, all the while claiming that mass unemployment would be among the undoings of capitalism--never mind that such required creating all manner of "make-work/fake-work" positions just to create the aura of nil unemployment.

Which begs the question of whether achieving nil unemployment based on capitalistic socioeconomic models and paradigms is possible without recourse to waste, fraud, inefficency, mismanagement, corruption, lack of investment in plant and capital excused as "protecting industrial heritage" (talk about unlikely platitudes there!)--in other words, nothing short of outright cartel behaviour.

And would it be stretching things to imagine "the Four Hundred" being some of the biggest supporters of anti-abortion movements, hoping to see in same a means towards their desired ends of nil unemployment based on free-market capitalist parameters?    

CALL ME A BIT ECCENTRIC AND OBSESSED, READERS, but I will acknowledge @ this time that on this Valentine's Day, I have a rather special place in my heart for Wisconsin Dells.

And no wonder.

It just so happens that I find Wisconsin Dells rather attractive and worth a visit annually on my part, as helps explain why it is that I have the Virtual Tip Jar off to the side of the page for your donations to help with the costs.

Not to mention expecting your shopping online to actually generate some serious purchases as would translate into commissions.

It doesn't matter how much you give to the effort, mind you. Just give what you can, and fully secured besides if you still have concerns about the weird and unwholesome sneaking a virtual peek.

But then again, Wisconsin Dells is just the sort of place I like to spend a week in every summer, right after the July 4th weekend. And from past experiences there, I have produced this Lens on Squidoo as is a mix of tribute and online shopping for those of you as would like to visit the Waterpark Capital of the World.

Of all the waterparks, I would have to say Noah's Ark is the best of the outdoor waterparks, and the Big Kahuna wavepool is actually deserving of some quality time. Riverview Waterworld, for its smallness of size and intimacy, can be considered close behind.

I'd include some time @ Pizza Pub for their Chicago-stylee deep dish pizzas as are something of a favourite with the Chicagoans as make the Dells popular as it is, and have since onetime radio and TV host Tommy Bartlett from down that way set up his waterski show on Lake Delton back in the early 1950's--where it continues to be popular for some reason or another.

Brekkie in the Dells: Paul Bunyan's seems to be getting hackneyed, their pancakes are getting to be stodgy and the fried potatoes rather greasy. So, might I recommend instead IHOP, Mr. Pancake, Denny's Diner (the one in Lake Delton by the fire station) or The Country Keg downtown.

Another eatery in the Dells worth a visit: Family Chef, out on The Broadway. Such a light, airy sort of atmosphere, complete with a broad picture window looking out onto The Broadway shedding some light onto the mealtime situation. (Their house dessert speciality: Strawberry pie.)

Shopping: While the tackier T-shirt and souvenir shops will likely be irresistable in their own right (especially when you realise where the former's selection includes some with tasteless and suggestive messages as were targets of campaigns in past), one place you should spend some time with is Vertical Illusions, an outdoor shop which I accidentally stumbled on a couple years ago when they first opened--and began recommending as an ideal alternative to T-shirt shops. The response from intending visitors has been--well, unbelievable. Just see it for yourself and see what they have.

All in all, Wisconsin Dells is just the sort of place I enjoy visiting.

HUBRIS WEIGHTED DOWN BY ARROGANCE IS SOMETHING OF A STOCK-IN-TRADE among elements weird and/or unwholesome who associate or otherwise identify themselves with racist or white-supremacist causes and movements.

I say this considering where this element is all the more likely to be emotionally unstable or otherwise unlikely to face the bitter reality of an all the more interdependent 21st century world built on tolerance, diversity and multiculturalism, preferring instead to live in a past where Jim Crow and apartheid held high carnival for no useful purpose other than maintaining white arrogance.

And invoking Divine Right and Will (not to mention such reinforcing arguments as "rights by conquest") to excuse such arrogant policies that these elements vulnerable see as a Sanctii Sanctorum entitled them "as of birthright***by virtue of race and racial identity."

And fear and paranoia are what they thrive on. Fear that their "traditional rights, privileges and powers" could be "denied them without due process of law" (to use a pathetically likely patsy of theirs) and paranoia that "loss of our traditional honour and privilege" could be all the more imminent, or otherwise coming without warning.

No doubt explaining many such racists and white supremacists being, perhaps, emotionally disturbed themselves--and yet unlikely to come to terms with same, let alone seek help out of fear that accepting same could be seen as one with "failing to serve [their] race and racial duty" and which, in its turn, could "undermine our racial integrity."

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YOUR CORRESPONDENT BRINGS UP THE ABOVE AS BACKGROUNDER, SO TO SPEAK, for what I am about to discuss @ this time.

The which will be made known presently, and which are no doubt certain to stoke the flames of paranoia and fear among white-supremacist elements @ both ends of the proverbial candle, so to speak.

The more arrogant, philestine element (a/k/a "dittoheads" and "white trailer park trash") who could identify with the Ku Klux Klan and suchlike who see fear and violence as necessary to their hopeless cause, for one.

And, for the other, the "polite" Brooks Brothers crowd (a/k/a "the Four Hundred") who could identify with the Council of Conservative Citizens (successors to the so-called "White Citizens' Councils" of the Civil Rights era) and such whose model is more along the lines of "hail-fellow-well-met" Babbittry rather than the old ultraviolence.

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OK, OK, BACK TO THE TOPIC @ HAND:

For starters, there was the contrition-laden speech of Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd before the Parliament "Down Under" apologising for past policies of mistreatment, segregation and contempt towards the Aboriginal peoples of Australia.

For which he was right to say "I am sorry" for now-discredited policies as created what Australian Aboriginals call "the stolen generation" thereof between the mid-1920's and the early 1970's, when social workers forcibly removed Aboriginal children from their families and communities and "resettled" them in mission schools under the prevailing (and, in our modern way of thinking, misguided) belief that such action was necessary to "save [the Aboriginal peoples] from themselves" in much the same manner as our own "morally superior" policies of forcibly relocating Native Americans to reservation lands (including the so-called "Indian Territory" as is now part of Oklahoma).

And, for the other, the recent amazing success of Democratic Presidential candidate Barack Obama, himself of colour, in the several Presidential primaries and caucuses to date preparatory to Indecision 2008--no doubt further stoking the paranoia among racists and white-supremacists about "loss of [their] traditional rights, privileges and powers" if a man of colour were to be elected President.

Which these weird and unwholesome types would love to prevent "by whatever means necessary," even if it means using outright ultraviolence most sadisto. And invoking The Fourteen Words as a defence, hoping such would provoke race war stateside that so-called "militias" with racist connexions will further stoke, exploiting all the while the diversion of "official" United States troops to the Iraqi and Afghani fronts of the ur-RAHOWA Against Terrorism.

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IT'S NO WONDER RACISTS AND WHITE SUPREMACISTS @ BOTH ENDS OF THE CANDLE, SO TO SPEAK, are all the more afraid of what's been going on of late.

Afraid to the point of having hopelessly incurable cases of insomnia beyond even Rozerem and Lunesta. Or, for that matter, their old reliable of a mug of hot milk @ bedtime.

So what will make these elements weird and unwholesome see the errors of their ways short of Divine Judgement?

"Think about it"   

"SPAM" E-MAIL PROMOTING ADULT WEBSITES WILL SOMETIMES FEATURE "BARELY LEGAL" as a come-on in the Subject line to attract the unwary and unsophisticate into what could really be closer to child-pornography websites.

Especially considering the possibility that such "barely legal" types so featured in sexually-suggestive poses may really be lying about their ages under pressure from parents tricking their children sold off to "modelling" agencies as are probably ruses for child pornography. Sold off, for the most part, because of financial problems (real or imagined, especially such as could trigger charges of Moral Hazard in certain circles) and a desire to avoid what they preceive as the stigma and shame of being reduced to going on State welfare--especially when they invoke platitudes about their having been taught to never ask for charity lest such "weaken their moral strength."

Not to mention the possibility of a number of welfare families tricking especially vulnerable children into "modelling" (child pornography) jobs to spare their family further financial harm--all the more possible in what could be an emerging state of socioeconomic dislocation.

The fact of which our Japanese brethren are seconding, perhaps with the proverbial grain of salt, by way of this recent "WaiWai" column per the Mainichi Daily News of Tokyo:

Large numbers of Japanese men are falling victim to scams perpetrated by young women pretending to be turning tricks, but it doesn't have to be that way, according to Spa! (1/22).

Of course, the best way for men to avoid falling into a trap is to avoid falling in with schoolgirls or other women engaging in the practice of enjo kosai - the term translating literally as "compensated dating" that acts as a euphemism for prostitution.

But the men's weekly says that for guys who simply can't help themselves, there are plenty of steps that can be taken to make sure they stay safe.

"If you just want to have sex--as opposed to deliberately looking for a young girl to give it to you--avoid the underaged. Anybody advertising their services on a major matchmaking site with the claim that they're 18 or 19 is almost certainly under age," a man identified only as Mr. I, a self-professed expert on using young hookers, tells Spa! "And watch out for those who use a lot of picture characters and smileys in their e-mail, because that's almost the lingua franca among teens. Make sure you insist she tells her your age and get her to mail you a message stating that she's over 18. Guard that mail with your life."

Mr. I argues that appearances are also an important area where men can defend themselves.

"Girls dressed flamboyantly in really gaudy outfits should put your mind at ease when it comes to the underaged," he says. "The biggest fear for minors on the game is getting picked up by the cops, so they won't do anything with their appearance that makes them stand out in a crowd."

And Mr. I also emphasizes the importance of thorough preparation.

"To make sure you don't get conned by a girl with a scam, make sure you arrive at any meeting place well ahead of the scheduled time. You can use the extra time to work out whether the girl is underage. If she is still a minor, she'll often turn up nearby with a group of friends who'll hang out close by and wait for her to finish. If she's on the con, there may be a guy in the vicinity, too," Mr. I says. "Before meeting her, find a hiding spot and check out whether she's your type and what she's doing. Also get a feel for the area and work out an escape route, just in case. Con artists often hang out in groups in family restaurants or convenience stores, so check out these places to see if there's anything suspicious. If you go into a hotel, make sure you enter separately and preferably leave by a different exit to her when she's finished (to avoid being waylaid by stand over merchants). If you get there by car, park some distance away so she can't learn the license number and use it against you."

The men's weekly says Mr. I has learned the hard way about how men can protect themselves--his past includes an arrest for using an underage sex worker and several instances where women selling sex have ended up pulling a scam on him. His advice if a girl still tries to blackmail a punter who has gone through all his defensive steps but falters at the last hurdle?

"Go to the cops, tell them you've used an underage prostitute and say she's trying to blackmail you. If you own up immediately, you'll get fined, but there's no reason why they'll ever tell your family or your company about it and nobody needs to know," Mr. I tells Spa! "It's not the same as being investigated by the police, but if you are gonna lie, make sure you tell them you thought she was a high school girl and not someone from junior high."

But then again, "mistake as to age" is not an acceptable legal defence in the circumstances....

FIRST OFF, YOUR CORRESPONDENT WISHES TO APOLOGISE @ THIS TIME FOR THE TARDINESS OF THESE COMMENTS on the news appearing in this blog.

He was held up a little bit @ the motel here in Winona this morning while Mein Innkeeper Friend had to run on an errand to get an anti-stomachic for his daughter, requiring me to keep the que vive in the office for awhile. Followed by a shopping trip to the Watkins Museum Store here in Winona to buy some new-stylee furniture polish and toilet bowl cleaner for his flat.

(I acknowledge a fondness for Watkins Products @ this time out of hometown loyalties, never mind the price. As along as I'm @ it here, I should also point out that Watkins' new Lemon Liquid Laundry Detergent Concentrate, blended with Calgon--blame it on the hardness of the local water supply--has produced some rather pleasant results in the laundry since I began using it.

(One slight problem, though: With the laundry detergent, there's a serious want of clear measurement advice on the cap. Fortunately, though, Watkins has pledged to look into the matter, and plans to bring in caps that contain measuring marks.)

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GETTING BACK TO MOTELS FOR A MOMENT, Your Correspondent would like to start a modest little campaign through this blog.

As in urging ye who travel, be it for business or pleasure, to start spending more time in the smaller, indepenendent motels and resorts as manage to hold their own in the face of stiff competition from the sterile and antiseptic "cookie-cutter" predictability of the major chains.

Which, come to think of it, can get to wear on you after awhile.

Any of you care to agree?

*************

THE RACISTS AND WHITE SUPREMACISTS AMONG US ARE STARTING TO WHINE AND POUT AND CATERWAUL in their own senseless and helpless way about the news that whites could be a National Minority in the United States by the 2050 Census.

Guaranteed, no doubt, to call for appeals to "racial honour and integrity" to excuse deliberately unprotected displays of fornication whereby The Fourteen Words ("We must secure the Existance of our Race and a Future for White Children") will be used as both defence and excuse--especially among "right-thinking Aryan Youth" not expected to realise that they're committing an illegal act under normal circumstances.

Remember apartheid South Africa's "Make Babies for Botha" campaigns in the mid-1980's?

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ONE LIKELY CULPRIT IN THE ONGOING OBESITY WAR happens to be artificial sweetnners based on saccharin (usually in pink packets), which Sweet & Low popularised after the FDA banned cyclamates for sweetening purposes in 1969 as having carcinogenic properties.

As it turned out, the same FDA would raise questions about saccharin nearly ten years later, prompting them to require the following caveat on products containing saccharin:

USE OF THIS PRODUCT MAY BE HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH. THIS PRODUCT CONTAINS SACCHARIN, WHICH HAS BEEN DETERMINED TO CAUSE CANCER IN LABORATORY ANIMALS.

The which, it turns out, could actually have been based on flawed or otherwise faulty research procedures. (Similar claims have been suggested for such which led to the cyclamates ban.)

Now, you have aspertame (light blue packet) and sucralose (Splenda; yellow packet) competing with saccharin, which some have suggested may be equally to blame for the obesity problem.

And Another Thing:

Since the mid-1970's, soft-drink manufacturers have been using high-fructose corn sweetners instead of sugar--"to cut costs," or so the official line hath it.

Which, too, have been held to blame for obesity problems.

Now that corn is likely to become more expensive because of its diversion in large measure to ethanol production (@ least until switchgrass-based ethanol becomes socioeconomically feasable enough to produce in cost-efficent stylee), can we expect soft drink companies to return to using sugar within measurable distance?

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START STOCKING UP ON THOSE "FOREVER" RATE STAMPS @ YOUR POST OFFICE, boys and girls: From 12 May, letterpost rates will increase by a penny (i.e., 42¢ for letters, 27¢ for postcards), per edict of the Postal Rate Commission just announced.

By buying the "Forever" rate stamps now, you can be ready for the forthcoming letterpost rate increases, as same are designed to cover any ensuing increase in letterpost rates subsequent to their purchase.

Meanwhile, read what the Federal Trade Commission found (shock! horror!!) about how certain laws and policies as apply to the Postal Service (notably the Government-Protected Monopoly on universal letterpost service) may be @ variance with established consumer law and policy as applies to competing delivery services like UPS, FedEx and DHL.

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FROM THE "IT'S A SMALL WORLD, AFTER ALL" DOSSIER, with particular regards to Parental Responsibility for the Acts, Deeds and Exploits of their children--via news.com.au's AdelaideNow portal:

PARENTS of children who repeatedly break the law could be fined, have their televisions seized or be made to attend counselling under a radical plan to crack down on juvenile crime in the Northern Territory.

Youth camps and compulsory guidance workshops are also part of the three-pronged attack on anti-social behaviour announced today by NT Chief Minister Paul Henderson.

"As part of the plan, juvenile diversion will no longer be a revolving door. Parents will be made more accountable and youth camps will help get kids back on track,'' Mr Henderson said.

"Our community is paying the price for a small group of kids who don't respect the law, their parents or the public - and enough is enough.''

As part of the package, legislation will be introduced to parliament that holds parents accountable for their children's criminal activity.

"The contractual agreements will require parents to better monitor their children and may require parents to attend counselling or guidance programs,'' Mr Henderson said.

He said parents who refused to enter an agreement, or those who breached their agreement, faced a court-imposed Family Responsibility Order.

They could also be forced to pay fines of up to A$2,200 (US$1,985/C$1,988/£1,012/€1,362/¥213,147) or face the seizure of non-essential household items such as plasma televisions and stereos.

The bill also prevents juvenile offenders being referred to diversion programs more than twice.

"Repeat offenders will have to go to court to face the consequence of their actions, including detention,'' Mr Henderson said, adding that a youth camp would be established in the Top End.

"We want to get those kids who are at risk of criminal offending back on the right path, as well as give guidance and support to others who need to build self-esteem, develop life and work skills, get back in to school and reconnect with family,'' Mr Henderson said.

Opposition Leader Terry Mills welcomed the move.

"Putting troublesome teenagers through the physical and emotional rigours of a boot camp can help drag them away from other unhealthy influences,'' he said, adding that time would tell if the overall package worked.

"It is easy for governments to announce tough new measures. Territory Labor has made a habit of it,'' he said.

"The difficult part is turning vague policy commitments into effective programs.''

Which the Fox Noise crowd would certainly love to recommend for the "morally superior" United States, targeting in particular the likes of such deemed "chronic and habitual welfare cases***lacking any healthy respect for industry, self-reliance, personal responsibility, thrift and a Wholesome and Simple Home Life" based, methinks, on Rabbie Burns' "The Cotter's Saturday Night."

Especially if the corrective measures are "faith-based."

AS IF THE DECLINE OF GREYHOUND WASN'T ALREADY DESPERATE ENOUGH for the intercity motorcoach industry in the United States, never mind where the K Street crowd sees same as a better use of resources than continuing to subsidise Amtrak (forever seen by that ilk as "wasteful," "unnecessary" and "pandering to nostalgic feelings unrelated to Reality"), there seems to be a woeful lack of healthy competition there as would appease K Street enough.

Which K Street will quickly blame on "undue and unnecessary regulatory burden," to use a rather lame platitude as ignores the presence of Megabus (a Stagecoach Group joint offering cut-price bus services on "hub-and-spoke" networks out of Chicago and now Los Angeles, with fares as low as $1 single) and Chinese motorcoach operators (whose Chinese name translates as the rather colourful "wild chicken trucks") along the Northeast Corridor (the ignorance of the latter, perhaps, suggesting some class of racist jealousy up there with many of the same arguments used in the late 19th century to justify blanket bans on Chinese immigration into the United States).

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AGAINST THIS BACKROP, PERHAPS IT MIGHT BE INTERESTING to imagine the possibilities of some company operating overnight motorcoach services with specially reclining seats similar to what VIA Rail Canada used to call "Dayniter" (as in reclining to a sleeping position @ night) along many of the same corridors which, for example, Megabus operates in the Midwest out of Chicago, with provision for a rest stop about halfway into the journey to allow the passengers to stretch their legs and have a light snack.

One such I have imagined this being possible would be between Chicago and the Twin Cities, with the rest break @ Tomah, Wisconsin--which could also be the rest stop on a hypothetical overnight bus between Chicago and the Twin Ports (Duluth/Superior).

As if that weren't enough: In the interest of the environment, consideration ought be given to having the buses run on biodiesel (in particular the sort derived from a variety of bitter hazelnuts whose planting is being encouraged as a way to stabilise hillsides @ risk of soil erosion) or, failing that, cheap, stinking chip oil such as is otherwise left to waste from fast-food restaurants of the worst sort.

After all, even those cut-price motels with their "cookie-cutter" sterility and predictability can easily get to travellers after awhile. So how about considering some class of overnight bus as a viable alternative to such insanity-producing sterility @ cut prices?

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MEMO TO K STREET: Satisfied with what I suggested?