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A FREQUENT CLAIM BY THE DARK SATANIC MILLS OF CONSERVATIVE PROPAGANDA HATH IT THAT THE VAST MAJORITY OF FILM AND TELEVISION STARS IN HOLLYWOOD are somehow subscribing to "liberal" or (worse yet) "Communist" causes.

Hence, film and television (according to this line of thought) should be treated with suspicion lest subtle "Communist propaganda" slip through the plot.

Which prompts Your Correspondent to wonder if the stars of Die Bransoner Muzikschaukultur can be seen as supporting conservative causes and their articles of faith....

HONESTLY, THOUGH, YOUR CORRESPONDENT WOULD RATHER YOU DID SOME ONLINE SHOPPING THROUGH THIS BLOG, especially if you're the kind as considers yourself a regular visitor as needs to get some online shopping out of the way for once.

He could use the revenue, besides; after all, disability benefit can only go so far from month to month, and besides, he would rather make money online through honest means rather than wind up unwittingly giving aid and comfort to weird and unwholesome elements using "make money online" schemes as a fundraising front.

Weatherwise, thin high cloud expected to give way to thunderstorms from the evening on here in the Minnwissippi.

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THE RELIGIOPOLITICAL RIGHT'S KULTURKRIEG BRANCH IS NO DOUBT REJOICING IN THE NEWS OF WHOLESALE FIRE DAMAGE TO UNIVERSAL STUDIOS HOLLYWOOD yesterday--as in a New York streetscape which many of you are well-acquainted with through numerous films and TV shows, the "King Kong" portion of the studio tour and storage vaults containing archive copies of thousands of films and TV episodes (in that last instance, however, they do have backup copies in storage elsewhere).

Considering where low water pressure may have only aggravated the efforts of fire fighters to bring the blaze under control, you can easily expect this particular element to play the Divine Wrath and Judgement card in their propaganda; remember, boys and girls, that the Religiopolitical Right only sees Hollywood as but an agency of the Evil Empire to "undermine and corrupt morals and decency."

The same ones, methinks, seeing Die Bransoner Muzikschaukultur as The One True Acme and Perfection of American Culture--one based on an idealised Arcadian vision straight out of the 1950's, come to think of it.

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MEANWHILE, THE SO-CALLED "WISE USE MOVEMENT" IS NOT VERY HAPPY @ BEST BUY'S ANNOUNCEMENT OF THEIR LAUNCHING A PILOT PROGRAMME to collect waste consumer electronics for recycling free of charge @ selected locations, including stores in Minnesota and parts of neighbouring states.

I say "free" because consumer electronics manufacturers are increasingly embracing electronics recycling schemes as one with good business and corporate responsibility, in effect subsidising the costs of collection.

Next thing you know, expect "Wise Use" Zealots and True Believers to be pushing a "taxpayer lawsuit" challenging the legality of kerbside and collection bin-based recycling schemes based on their own rather absurd arguments about "waste and inefficency," "incompatibility with free-market socioeconomic models and paradigms," even "Communistic associations" (and citing in evidence--unless disallowed by the court--all manner of "mismanaged" recycling programmes in Communist regimes as only proved "inefficent and counterproductive").

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WITH RUSH "TRUTH DETECTOR" LIMBAUGH SOMEHOW OBSESSING WITH EUNUCHS AND THE EUNUCH CULTURE AND LIFESTYLE in his taking issue with Hillary Rodham-Clinton's Presidential aspirations (@ least until he put "Operation Chaos" into effect, the aim of the whole being to ensure victory for The Terrible-Tempered Mr. Bang in Indecision 2008 by making Ms. Rodham-Clinton an easier aunt sally), Your Correspondent might want to enquire if The Oxycontin Bull is really a eunuch himself.

Let alone impotent.

Or, for that matter, a sufferer of loathsome veneral diseases, especially so such strains thereof as are resistant to antibiotics (remember where penicillin was widely prescribed for full-on cases of gonorrhoea after it first became widely available after World War II).

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WITH HIGH FUEL PRICES MAKING MANY START TO THINK TWICE ABOUT THEIR SUMMER VACATION PLANS, NEVER MIND AGGRAVATED CASES OF NEURASTHENIA LIKELY TO ENSUE in the process, some of you may be tempted to fall for all manner of online offers supposedly offering cut-price travel deals through the likes of "travel clubs" and suchlike.

After reading the following (via "Watchdog" of the St. Paul Pioneer Press, know), you may want to think twice, especially considering the hidden dangers behind such tempting-looking offers:

If you're making plans for a summer trip, be very careful if you think you're getting a hot deal online.

Some of the travel offers you may find in your e-mail inbox or in an online search could end up cheating you out of money, putting malicious software on your computer or sending you to a porn site rather than on vacation.

MarkMonitor, a company that analyzes online scams, reports that in the past few months, there have been a lot of travel "opportunities" that could get you into trouble.

A common one—with 150 to 200 listings out there on any given day—points you to a fake auction site supposedly selling discount vouchers, said Fred Felman, the company's chief marketing officer. He pursued one to see what would happen. For $23.99 on a site pretending to be eBay, he got a coupon that promised to get him $75 off an airline flight. When he tried to use the electronic voucher with the major airline he was buying the ticket from, the voucher at first seemed to work. But when he tried to conclude the transaction by giving the airline his credit card number, "they said 'no dice' and charged me the full amount for the ticket," Felman said.

Other e-mails try to entice you with offers of big savings on airline tickets if you click on a link, but those sites are fronts for malware, which can infect your computer with spyware, put a keystroke recorder on your computer or make your computer an unwilling part of a network used for illegal purposes.

Don't ever click "OK" on pop-ups that appear on your screen, Felman said, or "you're gonna get bit." Instead, get the pop-ups off your screen by hitting your escape key. Plus, you should run your own software that helps block malware.

Another trick is redirecting users who type in search terms such as "cheap flights" or "Europe travel" to adults-only Web sites. Unscrupulous people figure at least some of the searchers who get to these porn sites by mistake will pay the registration or per-click fee to stay.

As if that weren't enough, some so-called "travel clubs" (in particular such targeting "right-thinking" working-class trash) will bundle themselves as part of a so-called "consumer benefits programme" which, in and of itself, may be using multi-level marketing (MLM) to conceal the real intent of its being a Ponzi scheme in disguise--i.e., there is no real "consumer benefits programme" to be sold, as opposed to "distributorships" to further carry on the scheme.

Even if they offer a reloadable debit card, mail-order pharmacy, auto club or online "buying club" as part of a greater scam laden with glowing generalities about "increasing consumer purchasing power" among the vulnerable and marginalised of society "consistent with American experience, heritage and traditions" (read: free-market capitalism with American characteristics-as-Great White Father empowering "welfare basket cases" to Industry, Self-Reliance, Personal Responsibility, Thrift based on Cash Economy and a Wholesome and Simple Home Life).

Haven't they ever heard of the Rochdale Pioneers and how they saw the Industrial Revolution's "dark side" as an advantage to empower such among the working classes like themselves through cooperatives and the cooperative movement?  

THE FOLLOWING EXCERPT OF REMARKS FROM PAT ROBERTSON'S 700 CLUB SHOW OF 27 MAY 2008 (thanks to Right Wing Watch and Brave New Films for the hat tip), suggesting that recent disasters in Myanmar and China are but the "birth pangs of a new order" (and citing Scripture for his own purposes, as per usual), needs no further elaboration:

(Or does it?!)

THOSE OF A CERTAIN GENERATION WHO COME ACROSS THIS WEBLOG MAY STILL RECALL THE RATHER AWFUL-SOUNDING RADIO BROADCASTS from Mexican "border-blaster" radio stations XER and XERA on behalf of Dr. John R. Brinkley's "clinics" in Del Rio and Santa Cruz, Texas for, respectively, "lost manhood" and "that troublesome old cocklebur," as he referred to the prostate.

Brinkley, recall, had been hounded out of Milford, Kansas after losing two unsuccessful bids for Governor (the first such a spontaneously unsuccessful, last-minute "write-in" such) in the wake of the State Medical Board having revoked his licence for pretending to medical skill (his credentials having come from a "diploma mill" known as the Kansas City Eclectic Medical College), "addiction to liquor" and "gross immorality" in connexion with his goat-gland implant practice as was itself widely advertised over his very own radio station, KFKB by call sign, when he wasn't dispensing numbered "prescriptions" for and on behalf of his World Brinkley Medical Association on air.

(The Federal Radio Commission, precursor to the Federal Communications Commission, already revoked KFKB's licence for overzealous and shameless self-promotion contrary to public interest.)

In any case, for sheer frankness and crudity of scaring the vulnerable and easily-influenced with real or imagined prostate problems, Doc Brinkley would be glad to see his antics are alive and well--howbeit back in England's Green and Pleasant Land.

Er--make that the Channel Islands, more specifically Guernsey, targeting the area between Land's End and John O'Groats by direct mail blitz as eventually attracted the attention of the Advertising Standards Authority vis-a-vis IntraMed, Ltd., out of beautiful downtown St. Peter Port:

Ad
A direct mailing, for a course of herbal pills.  The mailing consisted of a letter, a leaflet and an order form. The leaflet showed a graphic diagram of a surgical procedure on a prostate.  Text stated: "Are you waking up at night to go to the toilet?  Don't let your prostate ruin your sleep or your life by allowing the condition to get worse.  Operations for prostate problems and cancer are common.  The surgical procedures themselves are very unpleasant ... This illustration shows you the main surgical technique used to help patients suffering from prostate problems.  Through a resectoscope, an electric loop is used to remove the excess part of the prostate as shavings.  You can clearly see how the prostate can be manipulated by the surgeon's finger which is inserted via the rectum ... How your prostate could become a problem and a potentially very serious one at that by the time you're 40 ... Whether you have reached this stage yet or not, take PRO-STAVITA NOW before it's too late".  On the reverse of the leaflet, text stated "Michel Bontemps  A truly talented man destined for great things ... Live a happy life full of sexual vigour  Become rejuvenated with a course of PRO-STAVITA".  Beneath that were a number of testimonials, most of which concerned a reduction in the frequency of night-time visits to the toilet following a course of Pro-Stavita tablets.  A box in the centre of the testimonials stated "Put your mind at rest  PRO-STAVITA relieves prostate problems quickly and restores you to a peak of sexual fitness".

Text on the order form stated "The one and only treatment to try straight away - PRO-STAVITA From the age of 40, a prostate or impotence problem could occur at any time.  That's why this subject needs to be taken very seriously.  You should be aware that hypertrophia of the prostate (the little gland located beneath the bladder) can worsen without effective treatment ... Call a HALT to this unpleasantness and discomfort NOW  Say YES to a life of comfort, freedom and relief by choosing PRO-STAVITA ... YES! I want to be free of prostate problems and reclaim my life ...".

Text in the letter stated "When Michel Bontemps stakes his reputation on one of his natural health remedies, it is because he is ABSOLUTELY certain of its effectiveness ... Michel Bontemps is going to reveal a remedy that will put an end to your prostate problems ... his main concern - to discover an effective weapon to fight prostate problems.  And he has succeeded ... even if your prostate isn't causing you any problems today, you should take the subject very seriously because ... Prostate cancer is the second most common cause of death in men! ... His new natural health preparation can 'rejuvenate' your prostate.  This means that you can avoid a lot of discomfort and perhaps even an operation ... if you neglect prostate problems too long you may need to undergo a painful surgical intervention ... After extensive research and experimentation, he discovered three plants with quite incredible powers to relieve prostate problems ... As far as I am aware, PRO-STAVITA is the most effective remedy to relieve prostatic hypertrophia.  Furthermore, it also opens the door to a better sex life ... rediscover abundant sexual energy.  PRO-STAVITA may be considered a miracle product ... Nigel Kelly  Your Health Adviser".

Issue
1. The complainant challenged whether the mailing was irresponsible, because they believed the image on the leaflet and the supporting text were designed to cause fear amongst recipients and scare them into buying the advertised product rather than seeking suitably qualified medical treatment for prostate problems.

The ASA challenged:

2. whether the mailing was irresponsible and likely to discourage readers from seeking qualified medical advice by offering advice on treatment for a serious medical condition;

3. whether IntraMed could substantiate the efficacy claims for the product, and in particular the implied medicinal claim that Pro-Stavita could help treat or prevent serious prostate conditions, including prostatic hypertrophia and prostate cancer;

4. whether the testimonials were genuine; and

5. whether the testimonials misleadingly implied efficacy.

Response
IntraMed said they would withdraw the ad if it was found in breach of the Code. They sent no evidence to support their claims.

Assessment
The ASA noted IntraMed had sent no evidence to support their claims; we welcomed their offer to withdraw the ad if it was found in breach of the Code.

1. & 2. Upheld
We considered that prostate problems were a serious medical condition. We considered that the image of a surgical procedure on a prostate was excessively graphic and was therefore likely to cause fear amongst some recipients and could discourage them from seeking professional medical advice for a serious medical condition. We also considered that, by referring to, and offering to treat or prevent, the occurrence of serious medical conditions, the ad breached the Code by making medicinal claims for an unlicensed product.  We further considered that the ad was irresponsible and likely to discourage readers from seeking qualified medical advice.

On points 1 and 2, the ad breached CAP Code clauses 2.2 (Responsible advertising), 3.1 (Substantiation), 7.1 (Truthfulness), 9.1 (Fear and distress), 50.3 (Health & Beauty products and therapies - General) and 50.11(Health & Beauty products and therapies - Medicines).

3. Upheld
We considered that, because we had seen no evidence of the product's efficacy, the ad misleadingly implied that IntraMed could treat the conditions listed. We further noted that the ad made medicinal claims for an unlicensed product, in breach of the Code.
   
On this point, the ad breached CAP Code clauses 3.1 (Substantiation), 7.1 (Truthfulness), 50.1 and 50.3 (Health & Beauty products and therapies - General) and 50.11(Health & Beauty products and therapies - Medicines).

4. & 5. Upheld
We considered that, in the absence of any substantiation, the testimonials had not been proved to be genuine and misleadingly implied that the product was efficacious at treating prostate problems.  

On points 4 & 5, the ad breached CAP Code clauses 7.1 (Truthfulness), 14.1, 14.3 and 14.4 (Testimonials).

Action
We told IntraMed to withdraw the ad. We also advised them to seek advice from the CAP Copy Advice team before advertising in future.

Dr. Brinkley would certainly be proud....

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MAKE NO MISTAKE: ANYBODY WHO SPENDS TIME VACATIONING IN WISCONSIN MAKES IT A POINT TO STOP @ SOME TACKY-LOOKING CHEESE SHOP designed, or so it seems, to cater specifically for the shoobie trade.

And imagines the likelihood of a scenario not unlike the following classic Monty Python routine of a cheese seller's premi Licenced for Public Dancing absent any salable quantities of cheese:

Especially when said cheese shops are designed largely as "tourist trap" venues more so than what would be expected of a cheese shop or (better yet) a delicatessen or gastronom. And it doesn't exactly matter if these shops are in the obvious tourist-trap districts of Wisconsin Dells, Door County, Lake Geneva, the Hayward Lakes, Rhinelander or the Woodruff/Minocqua/Arbor Vitæ region, let alone off I-90, I-94, I-39 or I-43.

In any case: Any experiences with Wisconsin cheese shops as could be considered in the vein of Monty Python or, for that matter, National Lampoon's Vacation? Leave them in the comments section.

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FOR THE SAKE OF AVOIDING ANY POSSBLE CONFUSION AMONG THOSE OF YOU DOING SOME ONLINE SHOPPING IN THIS BLOG, especially those among you resident in the United States, Your Correspondent would like to note where this blog has affiliate relationships with, among others, Amazon.ca, CanadianTire.ca and the Hudson's Bay Company group (as in Hbc, TheBay and Zeller's) to, hopfully, attract some online shopping from any Canadian visitors to The Exaggerator.

And, with that in mind, would like to clarify matters in this respect:

• In the case of Amazon.ca, there should be no real problems with orders placed from, and shipped back to, the United States; but, to be on the safe side, do check their website for possible exceptions. Likewise with orders placed from Canada and intended for delivery to United States addresses.
• In the case of Canadian Tire and the Hudson's Bay Company group, they can only ship orders intended for addresses within Canada (i.e., they're unable to ship to the United States; on the other hand, if you have friends or relatives in Canada, they can take your order online from the United States, and will ship it thus--but won't take orders intended for shipment into the United States.)
• With regards to the Chitika eMiniMall @ the head of the page, those of you living in certain countries (Canada among them) will see country-specific offers from local e-tailers, with full search and comparison-shopping capabilities; credit this to Chitika's use of special algorithms to track where their visitors are coming from.

When all is said and done, however, Your Correspondent will receive commission payment on the ensuing sale in United States dollars, never mind that the pricing is in Canadian dollars. (Those ordering from the United States, subject to the restrictions as above explained, paying with credit or debit cards will have their order charged in US dollars per specially-negotiated exchange rates on their statements.)

Thank you for your understanding. 

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KNOWING WHO YOU ARE, AND YOUR OVERDONE EXCESSES OF ZEALOTRY AND TRUE BELIEF, perhaps it was time that Your Correspondent asked of you to show cause where the United States Constitution holds, expressly or by implication, that:

• America is to be regarded as a "Christian Nation," governed along "Christian principles;"
• The defence of American soverignty and soverign identity is conditioned by, and conditional on, the maintenance of a xenophoically isolationist agenda, and related articles of faith;
• The "real" Presidential authority is delegated to G-d A-mighty, with the Presidential powers defined in the Constitution essentially being that of a superdivine Prophet, Seer and Revelator receiving Divine Revelation and Pronouncement in human form, and Congress expected essentially to "rubberstamp" said Divine Revelation and Pronouncement; and
• Any and all "rights, privileges and powers" ennumerated in the Organic Constitution (i.e., the basic such, plus the Bill of Rights) are solely and exclusively reserved for white male Christian (especially those of the Low Church persuasion) freeholders "in perpetuity."

In so showing cause, please refer to the specific clauses of the Constitution as substantiate these arguments you make as above summarised. Besides, recall where the Constitutional Convention of 1787 met behind closed doors and kept no notes of proceedings; hence, any suggestion of "newly-discovered secret notes" you may be offering as would substantiate the aforementioned arguments being Constitutional by implication will be regarded as forgeries.

And One Thing More:

Are you now, or have you ever been:

• an alcoholic?
• a drug addict?
• a wife and/or child abuser?
• a chronic and habitual gambler or spendthrift?
• an undischarged bankrupt?
• a sex fiend or pervert?
• diagnosed with a loathsome mental illness, disease or defect?
• diagnosed with a veneral disease?
• subject to frequent encounters with the police, courts and/or child-welfare agencies?
• brought up in a dysfunctional or otherwise "broken home" scenario as resulted in court intervention?
• a regular patron of prostitutes or other adult-oriented businesses?
• unable to hold down stable employment for extended periods of time for reasons entirely within your control (e.g., showing up late, intoxicated, ignoring safety instructions, "talking back" to supervisors or other instances resulting in disciplinary action or, in extreme instances, dismissal)?
• subject to liens, garnishments, attachments, foreclosure or reposession of real and/or personal property?