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SUNDAY MORNING HERE IN THE MINNWISSIPPI ... CLOUDY AND DREARY LOOKING, with off-and-on rain which makes going around on the bicycle holding an umbrella @ the same time rather tricky just to avoid accidents.

In any case, much of this region is seeing what could be a fresh round of flooding thanks to the rain overnight, prompting the Flash Flood Watch to be continued into the day today--as well as a few Flash Flood Warnings issued earlier (since cancelled) for areas to Winona's southwest.

Which is enough to make you wonder if a new round of pseudoreligious bromides suggesting that the flooding is a show of G-d's Withdrawing His Blessings Upon Minnesota for Condoning Homosexuals and Homosexuality could be possible within measurable distance. On the other hand, however, consider the likelihood for where such religious Zealots and True Believers pushing such a meme are really being influenced by Al Cohol more so than Elohim; there's always that possibility, and there was a time when especially Baptist sermons amounted to little more than drunken tirades from religious who were hesitant to endorse the Keeley Cure for Drink, Drug and Other Habits.

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MEMO TO THE NEOCONSERVATIVE ZEALOTS AND TRUE BELIEVERS PUSHING THEIR LATEST MEME ABOUT DEMOCRATIC PRESIDENTIAL WANNABE BARACK OBAMA being "Marxist" or otherwise some class of a "Manchurian Candidate:"

In the immortal words of the late Hank Greenspun, founder and longtime editor/publisher of the Las Vegas Sun, in confronting Sen. Joseph McCarthy @ a "patriotic rally" during which Greenspun was referred to as a "Communist" when the Red-baiting, career-ruining Senator (perhaps in his cups @ the time) was intending to say "convict:"

"Show us your facts!!!"

(As a matter of record, Greenspun was convicted in 1949 of violating the Neurality Act for sending firearms to Israel in its War of Independence; however, no sentence was imposed. President Kennedy would pardon Greenspun in 1962.)

And in "showing us your facts," please be aware of the likelihood that a number of programmes such as Microsoft Word, Open Office and Adobe Photoshop can produce documents of such high quality that even police forensic experts in forgery and questionable documents can easily be fooled.

Remember the "Hitler Diaries" as turned out being the product of a disreputable dealer in Nazi memorabilia some 25 years back?

And is your excuse in justifying forgery, trick and deception for corrupt political ends one of "die eindig moet regverdig die middels"?

And One Thing More: Can you show where in the Constitution it is implied or otherwise "etched in stone" that only white male Low Church Christians are entitled exclusively and "as of right" to the rights, privileges and powers so enshrined and ennumerated?  

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WELL, NOT QUITE WHAT I HAD INTENDED; a serious thunderstorm is approaching this way as I write this, dark sky, rumbling of thunder and all that, and it looks as if I may have to cut this short rather quickly.

In any event, appearences can be deceiving weatherwise:

Just this morning, as I woke up, it appeared as if things would turn out rather pleasant and bright ... only to deteriorate from about 9 o'clock on here in Winona (this blog runs on UTC time, know) when the skies started to deteriorate.

And started over to the Kmart to do some shopping of after-sun lotion (for the Dells trip later this summer), pain-relief gel, shave cream and security envelopes. It seemed as if an eerie, almost forboding, sort of silence was hanging over said Kmart; seems hardly anybody was in the store, even considering the hour I went there.

Luckily, the rain held off until about the last minute or so ... and even as I returned back from the shopping, a general sort of mugginess prevailed to the extent of my having to turn on the air-conditioning (which, know, I operate in a "cycler" mode so that it operates only as conditions dictate, thus saving power; it can also operate in fan mode).

Meanwhile, the Minnwissippi is seeing a Flash Flood Watch from 19h CDST tonight (00h UTC Sunday) to 07h CDST (12h UTC) tomorrow because the rains expected for today could translate into serious flash flooding, especially in steep terrain and poor drainage areas, thanks to expected heavy rainfalls as could reach up to 3" in isolated areas--enough to translate into what may be seen as Divine Reprisal for the region's generally supporting Extreme Religiopolitical Right and Neoconservative causes among the Lower Classes (cf. Rev. Fred "Westboro Baptist Church" Phelps contending that the I-35W bridge collapse in Minneapolis last summer was Divine Judgement Upon Minnesota for tolerating homosexuals and homosexuality), among other supposed warnings that G-d A-mighty was about to Withdraw His Divine Endorsement Upon America for our Failing to Honour His Holy and Sacred Commandments Upon America as a Pecuilar Among the Nations.

Well, TT4N....  

The way in which children perceive and react to marketing communications is influenced by their age, experience and the context in which the message is delivered; marketing communications that are acceptable for young teenagers will not necessarily be acceptable for young children.

THUS EXPLAINS CLAUSE 47.1 OF THE CAP CODE FOR NON-BROADCAST ADVERTISING TARGETING CHILDREN, as applies between Land's End and John O'Groats.

The other day, though, Your Correspondent was thinking @ length about a scene in Surf's Up where Edna Maverick (mother of Cody, the hero of this mockumentary), slicing up some raw tuna for dinner with a ice cleaver, relates where "Glen [Cody's older brother, as it were] was the big egg, Cody was the little egg," with a mock "photograph" illustrating the difference.

Which, in turn, calls to mind Clause 47.3(c) from said code, targeting mostly toy, game and model advertisements targeting children in England's Green and Pleasant Land, which cautions advertisers where

[I]t should be made easy for them [children] to judge the size, characteristics and performance of any product advertised and to distinguish between real-life situations and fantasy.

In the case of television advertising, the relevant section @ hand would be clause 7.1.3 (Product Characteristics), which provideth:

If advertisements for products of interest to children show or refer to characteristics which might influence a child's choice, those characteristics must be easy for children of the appropriate age to judge.

Not to mention Note 4 to said clause, as is perhaps relevant to the subject @ hand:

Where the size of toys, etc., may be a relevant factor, the actual size must be made easy to judge. This is often done by comparison with a familiar object of unambiguous size. The comparison must not be distorted by, for example, perspective.

Come to think of it, Your Correspondent might find it stretching things to use a rockhopper penguin such as Cody Maverick for size comparison in commercials for certain popular toys, for the sake of this clause, let alone

the "baby photo" of Glenn and Cody illustrating Edna's remark. 

1) Treason against the United States shall consist only of levying war against the United States, or, in adherence to its enemies, giving them aid and comfort. No person shall be convicted of treason unless on the testimony of two witnesses to the same overt act, or on confession in open court.

2) The Congress shall prescribe the punishment for treason; but no attainder of treason shall work corruption of blood, or of forfeture, except for the life of the person so attained.

THUS DOES ARTICLE III, SECTION III, OF THE UNITED STATES CONSTITUTION DEFINE TREASON, and directing Congress to establish approriate penalties for treason (which, IIBC, is death).

Judging by the following recent editorial from Montana's Billings Gazette (thanks to BartCop E! for the hat tip), it's all the more likely that His Fraudulency's Great Within may be indirectly guilty of treason by "giving aid and comfort" to the enemy--yet they, in their deliberate exercise of doublethink, hesitate to recognise just such a likelihood of that prospect (or, for that matter, His Fraudulency's hand-picked droog and successor, The Terrible-Tempered Mr. Bang):

Guest Opinion: War spending furthers al-Qaida goal of undermining U.S. economy

By ROBERT WEINER
and JOHN LARMETT

As the Congress takes up the latest Bush administration "supplemental" appropriation of another $160 billion for the war in Iraq, the impact of the war on families has been enormous. Montana now has the highest number per capita of killed or wounded in the country - 26.09 per 100,000 population - and a total of 250 deaths or injuries as of May 10.

In fact, the Congress should consider whether the funding - almost a trillion dollars to date - helps al-Qaida more than us. The question of whom the war funding actually helps and its draining of our own needs should be a major issue in the June 3 Montana primary.

In his audio addresses, Osama bin Laden has underscored the importance of hitting economic targets, threatening the United States with financial ruin. Bleeding the U.S. economy is an explicitly stated and oft-repeated aim of al-Qaida. In 2004, soon after the war began, bin Laden stated clearly: "The Mujahedeen have finally forced Bush to have recourse to an emergency budget in order to continue the fight in Afghanistan and Iraq, which indicates the success of the plan to exhaust (them) to the point of bankruptcy, God willing." Bin Laden emphasized the economic nature of the targets chosen in New York City for the Sept. 11 attacks, proclaiming it to be "very important to concentrate on striking the American economy by every possible means."

Draining our economy

He must be thrilled we've continued the emergency supplemental war funding, draining our economy for more than five years and counting. The U.S. economy is spiraling into crisis with the costs of oil and gas, college education, food doubling and tripling since 2001, drugs and other staples not far behind and home foreclosures at all-time highs.

Al-Qaida continues this objective right to the present.

The war in Iraq has been the economic disaster for the United States that bin Laden, without even having to deploy many resources, wished for (our own intelligence agencies confirm that al-Qaida is no more than 2 percent of the Iraq insurgents; the remainder is the civil strife that has persisted there for centuries).

With just the amount of our Iraq budget in 2007, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi points out, our government could instead have repaired 70,000 bridges across the U.S. rated deficient; rebuilt the New Orleans levees; covered all children in the State Children's Health Insurance Plan; equipped U.S. agencies with interoperable communications equipment not available on Sept. 11, 2001; enrolled 1.4 million more children in Head Start; doubled the budget for the National Cancer Institute; screened all air cargo for 10 years; and hired 51,000 more police officers. Instead, Bush has vetoed programs like CHIP and insisted on war dollars. All the while, al-Qaida has regrouped and strengthened outside Iraq - in Afghanistan and around the world.

Fewer jobs created

While the Clinton administration created 23 million new jobs, Bush has created 6 million - the worst jobs record since Herbert Hoover. The Bush administration chose to sink taxpayers' money into Iraq over public investment.

It is counterproductive to our own security that we paradoxically give al-Qaida exactly what it wants. The CIA's National Intelligence Estimate - now suddenly blocked from public view by the Bush administration likely because the document has spoken too much truth - stated on Jan. 13, 2005, that the war in Iraq "provides terrorists with a training ground" and "opportunity," and "the Jihadists will disperse to other countries" and "merge with local movements."

As to the president's objective to "fight them over there so we don't have to over here," the real question is whether it's al-Qaida keeping us bottled up in Iraq instead of the other way around. It's the classic strategy - divert the enemy to another location away from you, so that they will lose time, troops and effort - while you conduct your own priorities with no interference. Is al-Qaida beating us at our own game?

Editor's note: The war deaths and injuries statement is based on ICasualties data and U.S. Census population numbers. Wyoming is a distant second at 19.31.

Democratic strategist Robert Weiner is former spokesman in the Clinton White House. John Larmett is former foreign policy assistant and press secretary to Sen. Gaylord Nelson and Rep. Jim McDermott.

So waar is die uitwoede?

COMING ACROSS THE FOLLOWING ITEM FROM PEOPLE FOR THE AMERICAN WAY'S RIGHT WING WATCH BLOG about a new and emerging Religiopolitical Right-allied "Traditional Values" movement is enough to make you (as much as Your Correspondent) wonder if we may be seeing the sub rosa makings of an Evil Cult hiding behind the banner of "Traditional Values" and the "Defence of the Capitalistic System," among their articles of faith:

Not surprisingly, the Religious Right is upset at the failure of an effort to block California's recent same-sex marriage decision from going into effect. "[N]ationwide legal chaos," predicted the Alliance Defense Fund. The decision "abolishes the meaning of motherhood and fatherhood," opined Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council. A "further extension of their judicial activism," said Pacific Justice Institute's Brad Dacus.

At the same time, readers of the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and the Washington Times were confronted with an enormous advertisement urging them to "join the Crusade" of "conscientious resistance" to "the homosexual 'moral revolution.'"

An obscure but well-heeled group called the American Society for Tradition, Family and Property (TFP) ran ads [on the 5th inst.] covering two full pages in those newspapers, warning of the threat of same-sex marriage. The ad echoes the now-common Religious Right theme that equality for gays and lesbians would lead to the "persecution" of Christianity, but with 4,600 words in some of the most expensive print around, TFP apparently tried to make the argument in the least succinct way possible, discoursing on Nazism, the definition of truth, various Vatican publications, and Joan of Arc.

By legalizing same-sex "marriage," the State becomes its official and active promoter. It calls on public officials to officiate at the new civil ceremony, orders public schools to teach its acceptability to children, and punishes any state employee who expresses disapproval.…

Left unchecked, this anti-Christian trend will become an unprecedented assault on the First Amendment and our American way of life that we do not hesitate to call persecution.…

As the homosexual revolution's anti-Christian intolerance makes itself felt through increasingly persecutory measures, a terrible problem of conscience arises in any who resist: Should we follow our consciences? Should we give in?

For Catholics like ourselves, the condoning of same-sex "marriage" would be tantamount to a renunciation of Faith.…

This is a battle for the soul of America. The so-called Cultural War is gradually becoming a Religious War.

Tradition, Family and Property is an unusual group. Founded in 1973 after the anti-Communist writings of a Brazilian dissident Catholic activist, TFP brought a unique style of protest—serious young men with red capes, heraldic banners, and brass bands—to issues ranging from abortion, homosexuality, and contraception to anti-Communism, water subsidies, flag burning, and the Gulf War. While the group doesn't have the name recognition of the more media-savvy Catholic League, it still brought in $6.8 million in donations and sales in 2006.

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NO DOUBT THIS WILL LIKELY REMIND SOME OF YOU OF THE COLLOQUIAL AFRIKAANS EXPRESSION "DIE VYFDE WIEL OP DE WA" ("the fifth wheel on the wagon"), of obvious Voortrek origins and used today to speak of when one has been made redundant or otherwise no longer needed.

Or does it?

In any event, some wind-whipped rain and thunder here in the Minnwissippi on the overnight giving way to a windy morning and the skies looking rather deceptive to the point of wondering whether we will see nice or cloudy conditions; the which is rather important as the last daughter of Mein Innkeeper Friend graduates high school tonight, and the actual venue thereof being dependent upon weather conditions and forecast later on.

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FINALLY, A BIT OF RELIEF FOR SUCH RESIDING IN WISCONSIN WHO WORK IN WINONA, ALL ALONG AFFLICTED BY THE INTERSTATE BRIDGE CLOSING: From Monday, the City of Winona will establish, for the interim, a system of van shuttles between Wisconsin-side communities and staging areas on Latsch Island, whence commuters will board ferries to Levee Park and then city buses to their workplaces.

Services will initially run half-hourly from 06h to 23h, but may be adjusted depending on demand and patronage as the week wears on.

The fare will be $5 for a day pass, or $15 for a weekly pass, as will cover the ferry crossing and bus services on both sides of the Mississippi.

Meanwhile, MnDOT's inspection team continues to perform the inspection thereof, having found rusted and corroded gusset plates on the span, as well as a buckled such on the deck truss. In due course, further plans should be announced as to where next to proceed.

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NO WONDER HIS FRAUDULENCY'S GREAT WITHIN HAS BECOME NON COMPOS MENTIS IN SAYING THE ECONOMY IS IN "HEALTHY" SHAPE after it's emerged that one house in every 11 across the country is now in some stage of foreclosure proceedings.

And the "official" May unemployment rate is @ 5.5%, an increase on the month previous; this should be approached with caution, as the "real" rate could be somewhat higher when you consider where some sub-populations (among them the disabled and emotionally-challenged) have extreme difficulty finding work in the community for reasons outside their direct control ... and some who have made "reasonable efforts" to find work, but could not in any case, have since exhausted all unemployment benefits.

The latter no doubt sure to be exploited within due course by the likes of "work-from-home" and "turnkey home business" mountebanks laden heavily with glowing generalities and promises about big-big money coming in consistently ("as much in a month as you used to earn in a year!") which conceal the likelihood that such work may not exist @ all--or, if it does, that such is likely to be time-limited, with pay all the more likely to be in cash by virtue of the "independent contractor" nature of such "make-work/fake-work" positions. That, and liability for tax and Social Security contributions being @ self-employed rates absent any deductions the promoters may make in these respects, thereby making the "real" earnings much lower than that so glowingly advertised.

(And which they don't want you knowing about.)

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IMAGINE THE FOLLOWING SET OF CIRCUMSTANCES BEING USED AS PART OF THE RUNUP TO INDECISION 2008 HERE IN THE "MORALLY SUPERIOR" UNITED STATES: The Zimbabwean Government, based on suspicious claims that non-governmental aid organisations are secretly "supporting opposition Presidential candidates" in the end-of-month runoff, has ordered all such NGO's to suspend activities in country indefinitely.

All opposition political rallies have likewise been ordered cancelled because of "security concerns," which, to Your Correspondent, amounts to a patsy as seeks to deflect blame from a corrupt, brutal and sadisto Establishment seeking to maintain power "by whatever means necessary."

This as foreign diplomats (especially American and British such) are being harrassed and taunted and (for the second time this week) opposition Presidential contender Morgan Tsvangirai was subjected to police detention on charges not otherwise specified (although "illegal assembly" and "undermining public order" are being hinted at).

In short, chaos holds high carnival in Zimbabwe. Chaos of the sort weird and unwholesome types here in the "morally superior" United States would just love to unleash to disrupt Indecision 2008, and all the more so thanks to a person of colour (Barack Obama) being the Democratic Party's Presidential candidate.

Which could be all the more a pretext for "patriotic" racial violence which, in the right circumstances, could be used to provoke RAHOWA as could itself get all the more uncontrolled and exploited even more by the Dregs of Society.

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PERHAPS THE ONE SIGHT PERUVIANS WOULD CONSIDER ICONIC TO THE WORLD WOULD HAVE TO BE THE RUINS OF THE INCA VILLAGE OF MACHU PICCHU IN THE HIGH ANDES, which history tells us was discovered by American archaeologist Hiram Bingham (of Yale University) in 1911.

Now it looks like that account will become a mere footnote in history thanks to newly-found revelations of earlier European activity in the vicinity as excused plunder of Inca treasures well before Mr. Bingham's "dscovery" thereof. The BBC explaineth:

Machu Pichu carries symbolic value for Peru's indigenous people.

It was built by one of the last Inca emperors, Pachacutec, in around 1450 and kept secret from the Spanish conquerors who invaded about 100 years later.

Now the story about its discovery by the western world has been shaken up by a team of historians who say a German businessman looted its treasures more than 40 years before.

They say the adventurer, Augusto Berns, who traded in Peru's wood and gold, raided the citadel's tombs in 1867 apparently with the blessing of the Peruvian government.

He had set up a sawmill at the foot of the forested mountain on which Machu Picchu stands and systematically robbed precious artefacts which he sold to European galleries and museums.

Only when one of the historians found a map in Peru's national museum were his activities traced.

Until now it has been believed that Hiram Bingham, an American academic from Yale University, brought the Inca city to the attention of the world in 1911, although local people clearly already knew of its presence.

Mr Berns had a far less noble objective and researchers are now trying to find out how many artefacts he spirited out of the country at a time when there were no known archaeological expeditions in Peru.

Sadly more than a century later, Peruvian archaeological treasures are still being looted by grave robbers and sold on the international black market.

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THE JAPANESE DIET HAS APPROVED LEGISLATION AS WOULD FINALLY MEAN SOME FORMAL RECOGNITION OF THE INDIGENOUS AINU PEOPLES long resident on Japan's northernmost main island of Hokkaido, and with their own antient and pecuilar language, culture and lifestyle as long predated the establishment of the Japanese state.

Which has translated into generations of discrimmination and prejudice against indigenous Ainus by the mainstream Japanese establishment.

Let's not forget that we "morally superior" Americans have subjected indigenous First Nations peoples to prejudice and discrimmination for generations, and called it "patriotic" all the while.

FOX PROLEFEED, IN ITS DESIRE TO PRESENT THEMSELVES AS A TRUSTED AND RELIABLE SOURCE OF PROLEFEED TO THE PRODUCERIST CROWD, has this fetish--if you could call it so--for taking issue with certain beverage preferences among "Secular-Progressive"-leaning Presidential candidates.

Which, come to think of it, could apply across the board among the Dark Satanic Mills of Conservative Propaganda.

The which all started back in 2004 when a CNN correspondent took then-Democratic Presidential wannabe John Kerry to task for asking for green tea during a campaign stop in Dubuque, Iowa (of all places), suggesting such preferences were a sign of "elitism" somehow inconsistent with Mainstream American Values.

And which has continued in recent months with Democratic Presidential wannabe Barack Obama being taken to task for asking for an orange juice @ a diner ... and Hillary Rodham-Clinton also chided for her fondness for latte, both during campaign stops.

Which, in any case, begs the question of whether Fox Prolefeed, among others in the Neoconservative Propaganda Mill, is suggesting that "Real Americans" only drink straight coffee, preferably Brand X stylee with an oily sort of aftertaste thanks to the roasting having gone awry for some reason or another.

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WHICH IS ENOUGH TO WONDER HOW MUCH LONGER IT CAN GET BEFORE FOX PROLEFEED SUGGESTS THAT HAVING MUESLI OR GRANOLA FOR BREAKFAST is clear and present "proof" of "elitist tendencies***incompatible with the Great Silent Majority" among "Secular-Progressive-leaning" (read: Democratic) Presidential candidates.

And that "Real Americans" only eat oatmeal, corn flakes, shredded wheat or Cream of Wheat for breakfast cereals.

What Fox Prolefeed is hesitant to acknowledge is that corn flakes were originally created with an eye towards suppressing carnal desire (as manifested by, in particular, masturbation) among Impressionable Youth, which Dr. John Harvey Kellogg thought was the consequence of having pancakes, sausages, bacon, waffles and other cooked foods served hot @ breakfast on a daily basis.

Never mind that Dr. Kellogg's thinking was influenced by the teachings of The Rev. Sylvester W. Graham and Seventh-Day Adventism, who to this day still advocates a vegetarian diet among its teachings--and who, towards the end of the 19th century, ran a faltering "water cure" sanitarium in Battle Creek, Michigan which Dr. Kellogg turned around--only to have the Seventh-Day Adventists excommunicate him and withdraw its support of what became known as the Battle Creek Sanitarium (a/k/a "The San") in due course.

But not before using "The San" to advance his health-reform model which he called "Biological Living," deemphasising meat, caffeine and tobacco in favour of whole grains and nut-based meat substitutes, plenty of hydrotherapeusis (hot and cold baths), gymnastics, long walks and other forms of "vehement sports" as the path back to perfect health.

Not to mention a fondness for pure cow's milk (even to the extent of keeping a private dairy to serve the needs of "The San") and--equally interesting--Bulgarian yoghurt, even importing a quantity of the Lactobacillicus bulgaricus strain of yoghurt culture. (And incorporating yoghurt enemas as part of the routine @ "The San.")

And did I mention sexual abstinence and chastity?

Yep, Dr. Kellogg advocated outright chastity, contending that sexual activity was "unnecessary" to physical health; he spent his honeymoon writing his 644-page masterwork Plain Facts for Old and Young, a warning about sexual excess and its consequences upon health (of which he devotes a full 97 pages to the Evils of Self-Abuse, where he suggested that among the "warning signs" that one may be pleasuring themselves were such telltale behaviours as sleeplessness, inattention, "use of tobacco" to excess, "love of solitude," "false religious piety," overzealous appetite and acne).

But then, on the other hand, it's been suggested that Dr. Kellogg was a klismaphile (one who achieves sexual gratification through enemas, which were a regular staple of his after-breakfast routine) ... not to mention a childhood case of mumps afflicting his mental processes to the point of affecting his pseudomedical thinking as would premeate its way throughout "The San" and, in time, the nation.

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ORIGINALLY, THOUGH, DR. KELLOGG THOUGHT ABOUT LIMITING SALES OF HIS SANITAS CORN FLAKES TO THE CONFINES OF "THE SAN," even with a younger brother by name of Will Keith Kellogg who saw mass-market business potential in his older brother's revolutionary breakfast food.

Which would lead to considerable enmity between the two until, by 1906, W. K. ("None Genuine Without This Signature") pulled the rug out from Dr. John Harvey, so to speak, and removed any connexion between corn flakes and "The San."

Which was about the same time that Battle Creek itself became something of a Mecca for the "health food" industry, what with no less than 44 cereal manufacturers incorporating themselves in the dawn of the 20th century, producing their products under, in extreme cases, less-than-sanitary conditions in the likes of shacks and even tents.

Some would fold up shop quickly, but in the end, Kellogg's and Post would come out surviving.

C.W. Post, an overworked inventor, was given up for dead @ "The San" until he decided to go his own way with the rival La Vita Inn across town from "The San," promoting mental therapeutics as a way to deal with one's maladies. Not to mention Postum (a grain-based ersatz coffee whose sales were helped by lurid "scare stories" about coffee being the cause of blindness, auto accidents, murders, suicides, juvenile delinquency, arsons and even mortgage foreclosures), Post Toasties (which he originally wanted to call Elijah's Manna until the trademark registrars in England refused to allow it a trademark, citing laws there banning use of Biblical names or allusions in trademarks) and Grape-Nuts (which takes some getting used to to eat properly; one trick I've learned is to let the Grape-Nuts soak in milk for a couple of minootas so they're tempered to a soft enough, yet crunchy, texture).

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THUS DID MISGUIDED NOTIONS ABOUT DIETARY REFORM AS A WAY TO PREVENT SEXUAL EXCESS IN THE YOUNG change breakfast habits across the nation--and, in time, the world.

Uh--before I go, perhaps some final words in the form of a suggestion from the aforementioned Dr. John Harvey Kellogg about how doctors and parents could discourage masturbation in children:

A remedy [for masturbation] which is almost always successful in small boys is circumcision...The operation should be performed by a surgeon without administering an anesthetic, as the brief pain attending the operation will have a salutary effect upon the mind...In females, the author has found the application of pure carbolic acid to the clitoris an excellent means of allaying the abnormal excitement.